Dr. H. Christian Gunderson

Your pain is not only a part of who you are, but also part of your family history. Alcoholism, drug abuse, physical and mental abuse all tend to go back generations. An abusive father raises an abusive son. The question is, how do we break the cycle? How do we step away from the pain, torture, passed on by our fathers, mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers? The first step is to understand the

It's hard growing up different. To know as a child you don't fit in with your friends and family. To know there's something off about you, not quite right. It is a difficult path to walk. Trying to be true to an inner voice that no one else can hear and that you don't fully understand. Lady Gaga, like many of us, carries this pain of being different; of being something that we don't understand and the rest of the world can't quite accept.

John was a 21-year-old student. From the outside looked like he could do anything, but almost every time he reached out to make a new friend he felt traumatized. It was like reaching out through a cloud of Black Death. Every time he tried the sensations of his heart shutting down and death surrounded him. This had been going on for year after year. John had the rest of his life look forward to, but he longed to not be alone.

What America needs to understand is that killing Osama bin Laden helped him achieve his greatest wish. He became a martyr for his cause. Imagine being stuck in a 10 x 10 room, afraid to go outside for years on end; trapped in your own prison of fear, hate and terror, slowly dying of disease, being aged beyond your years.

There is a scene in the movie Jerry Maguire where Renée Zellweger tells Tom Cruise, "I love you for who you are, but I love you more for who you could be". This one statement is the biggest mistake women make in relationships. Women go out and start a relationship and instead of falling in love with the man they fall in love with a vision of what he could be in the far, far future. What women fail to realize is that most men don't want to change.

So many of us are damaged. We grew up in abusive, angry homes based on fear. The parents we had barely knew how to be themselves with all of their trauma and drama. These parents were so broken down that they had no idea how to be a parent. How to love a child looking up into their eyes filled with love. And what they did is they allowed their pain to affect their behavior. Instead a love they provided fear. Instead of support they tried to break us down.

Greed is the foundation of America. It is what we do best in the world. With greed as a backbone we have conquered the world. It is how we as people rank the powerful. We don't do it by degrees from universities or even by how famous someone is. We place those that are rich on pedestals and tried to teach our young to emulate them.

In recent weeks Donald Trump has lost his greatness. People already knew him as a great personality, real estate developer, and showman. He had a chance to become more, to step beyond his ego, to become a visionary, a leader, someone to inspire the people to become great like him. Unfortunately he decided to step in the realm of ignorance, hate, bigotry and fear. He has decided to promote lies and hateful propaganda for ratings.

For men, living in your father's shadow can be one of the most soul destructive positions to be in. It will strip your will and the joy out of your life. It places you in a no-win situation. Imagine being Donald Trump Junior; how can you ever outdo Donald Trump?

There are times in everyone's life when you don't care whether or not you live or die. Sometimes it lasts for a day or two, and sometimes it lasts for months. The question is whether or not you need to worry.