Accepting Powerlessness
Admitting "powerlessness" isn't always a sweet surrender. Most of us want to believe that we have a LOT of power over a lot of things in our lives. Admitting that I was powerless over drugs, gambling and alcohol was not for me a hard pill to swallow. Understanding it on the other hand definitely took every relapse, which brought me to the eventual "acceptance." Once I accepted that I was powerless over the substances and the gambling, I was challenged to think about what else I thought I was powerless over. The truth that I found, was that the drugs, the alcohol and the gambling were just the icing on a giant cake of powerlessness. A couple of years later, they now seem the "least" problematic on the list. It is everything else that has become the daily challenge. Everything else being a giant list of EVERYTHING outside of me. And still sometimes, things within me too.
Accepting just how powerless I was over people, places and things was a difficult thing to wrap my head around. I have learned that I am a control freak, as most of us addicts learn. Truly I believe that if you are human, you experience this, whether you like to believe it or not. We try to control other peoples emotions, how others treat us or behave in general. We try to control our environment and our experiences, and we try to control our feelings. What we try to do is to manipulate "life" into our plan. We all have an ideal of how we want things to be and we are constantly trying to put everybody and everything into its place. In the Big Book they call it the "director," and the director is pretty much playing God. I wanted to believe I had control over a lot of things, but when it came down to it, I realized I really have no "power" over anything but my own reactions and actions. Sometimes I don't even get to control my feelings, i just have to allow them to happen and just accept them. My choice comes, in how I am going to *react* to my feelings and emotions, and how I am going to *act* in any given situation or experience.
Trying to be in control of people and experiences I have no business trying to control is exhausting! Do I still stumble along the way and try to control stuff – heavens yes! This business of awareness and learning to trust God is a journey, and it's one that no one does perfect. There is freedom and peace in surrender though, more serenity than you could imagine trying to strong – arm or produce on your own. Allowing life to be life, people to be people, the experiences to unfold and happen and uncomfortable feelings to come and go without fighting or trying to control, brings peace, light, love and a real sense of control in self that no amount of "over – powering" or manipulating could ever produce. I'm ok with being *powerless* . . . in fact it's brilliant when I accept that I am not in control, because finally in those moments I can be free and enjoy the moments as they come without trying to make them happen.
- cdub (www.myjunkielife.com)
Questions and Answers
Most people do not understand the 12-Step recovery process, unless they have participated in a 12-Step program. They don't realize that the 12-Steps are not merely an antidote for addiction, but are guidelines for nothing less than a total personality transformation.
When we walk through the doors of our first 12-step meeting, or rehab, we are practicing the "admit" in Step One. We have finally put down our denial (or at least pushed it aside far enough to see how to climb past it), and for the first time, in what has probably been a very long time, we are being completely honest with ourselves, and are now waving the white flag of surrender.
In 1945, AA co-founder Bill Wilson addressed the American Psychological Association’s annual meeting in New York, and received a standing ovation. As he sat down, he was amazed because this group had soundly criticized AA. Bill turned to the president of the APA and said, “I’m surprised that they’re applauding my theories.” To which the president replied, “I don’t think they’re applauding your theories.
However, this sound bit of wisdom is rarely heeded. Many have a hard time accepting that a hiatus from intimate relationships is necessary.
Oxycontin has become a prime prescription drug in the epidemic of prescription drug addiction. For this reason detox services are necessary in order to help those who have garnered an unhealthy relationship with the addictive painkiller.
Xanax has made the headlines lately as one of the main contributors to the rise in prescription drug addictions. It is a powerful benzodiazepine, and should be highly regarded in it's severity as well as it's addictive properties.
It all started back in 2000 when it was still the early stages of clubbing I usually always visited a friend of mine on weekends. I was still very young (14 years old) my friend and I normally sat in his room with his brother while they were getting ready to go clubbing. They usually took something behind our back to get ready for the experience, but don't know what it was. Well any way after they were gone we usually sat and .....
Learn how to deal with alcohol withdrawal symptoms and be familiarized with the steps to have a full recovery from alcohol addiction.
Are fear, worry, concern, dread and uneasiness driving you to abuse drugs or alcohol? Learn how to dowse the flame of anxiety and how to beat addiction without ever leaving home.
Discuss this Article
