Phyllis Klein is a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice in San Francisco and Palo Alto, CA. She specializes in women's issues including eating disorders, low self esteem, relationship issues, depression, and childhood trauma. Phyllis can be reached at staff@womenstherapyservices.com or through her website, http://www.womenstherapyservices.com
More and more high school and college age women are experiencing blackouts. Blackouts occur when you drink a lot of alcohol in a short amount of time, and an empty stomach or being tired increases the risk of a blackout happening. The drama unfolds in your brain, where memory receptors get blocked, so you aren't forgetting anythinf--you are actually not forming memories. You can do anything a fully functioning person can do while you are blacked out. It's just that you aren't in control of what you are doing or able to deny consent to things you don't want to happen. People you are with may not be able to tell that you are blacked out because you might seem normal or only slightly inebriated. And you may say or do things you would never do sober.
Blackouts are usually very scary, and can feel shameful. If you are experiencing them, it is important to try to cut down on what you are drinking, eat before you start drinking and during the time you are drinking, and drink more slowly. In this day and age of all night partying this advice may sound impossible to do, especially when all your friends are also drinking heavily. And for some women, drinking and partying is the way they go about meeting guys.
If you find that dating is hard to do sober, drinking can feel like it gives you confidence and helps you feel less anxious or awkward. However, many women report that they have sex much more often drunk than sober, and the experience of waking up in a stranger’s bed not remembering how you got there or what happened can be terrifying on many levels—because it is humiliating, because you may not have used birth control, because you are worried about getting an STD, and because you may feel like you have been raped but can’t remember what happened. And these behaviors and worries are certainly going to have a negative impact on your self-esteem.
If you have been trying to cut down on having blackouts and find that you are not able to, if your friends are worried about your drinking or drug usage, and if you have a family history of alcoholism, it can be important to seek help. Many drinking problems are discovered only after several experiences with negative consequences, a lot of shame, self-loathing, and regret. On the Alcoholics Anonymous website, there are 12 questions on the “Is AA for you?” page. These questions can help you decide if you have a problem. The National Council on Alcoholism and other Drug Addictions is also a very helpful resource if you are worried about yourself. And if you aren’t ready to confront the problem directly yet, remember that there is non-judgmental help waiting for you. And if you are able to cut down on your drinking and stop having blackouts, share this information with others, and keep working on staying safer!
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