Amy Chua "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" – Root cause of addictions

Yesterday, I watched an interview with the author of "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," Amy Chua. After the conclusion, two thoughts came to mind; first, the patterns of control and manipulation that Amy has exhibited towards her children are often at the root of addictive behavior. Second, this extremely sad and unfortunate! 

Regarding the first thought, I have witnessed many cases that mirror this behavior in my private coaching practice, but prime examples of it also run rife in open society with popular athletes, musicians and film stars as well. André Agassi and Tiger Woods are classic examples. Andre Agassi, who suffered from addiction, openly admitted that he never wanted to play tennis, but his father forced him to. It's not surprising that Amy's thirteen year old child rebelled against her. I say "Good for her!" It is entirely likely that as adults, Amy's children will resent her very deeply. It is possible to create a disciplined environment without controlling, manipulating or oppressing a child's freedom of expression.

While I don't know Amy personally, it is apparent to me that she indeed struggles with a great deal of fear and insecurity, which is at the very core of her efforts to mold her children into what she believes they should be or ensure that they don't become what she fears most.

Regarding the second thought, where do we get the ridiculous notion that somehow we own our children and can control and manipulate them? Well, we don't and we shouldn't! We should not be living our lives vicariously through our children; we should be facing our own demons and following our own path. Every soul has a path, and your children do as well. You don't know what that is, only they do since it is etched in their energetic and spiritual blueprint. You had the privilege of bringing your child or children into this world and you have a duty and responsibility to teach them good principles, values and beliefs in order to prepare them for life. This we must do, so that our children can lead happy and meaningful lives. Yet, we are the only one of God's creatures that refuses to kick our offspring out of the nest! You see, along with the gift of higher consciousness and awareness comes the responsibility of greater spiritual learning. With greater power comes greater responsibility! 

Bottom line, you should fill your child's backpack with principles, values, beliefs and morals. Then, you must set them free. If they make a bad choice, interject and teach them how to make the right one in the future. Give them the freedom to uncover their true divine path! Don't smother, control, manipulate, control or mistreat them. These are the dysfunctional patterns that strike at the very heart of addiction.

Indeed, none of us are perfect parents or souls for that matter, and we are all works in progress. However, it serves us all well, including our children, when we can first face our own demons and ultimately embrace our own true path. 

Below I have outlined the 3 C's of parenting. Perhaps we would all be better parents if we fully embraced these guidelines. 

Caring – love your children unconditionally without control or manipulation. 

Character; Give your children a reason to respect you by conducting your life with principle and truth.

Coaching; Use every opportunity to fill their backpack with good values, principles and beliefs, then set them free! 

Regards, 

David Roppo 

The Addiction Freedom Coach 

Fore more information on how to overcome addiction, vist my site below to download my free e-course….. 

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