Graduation Day?

By Rev. Ned Wicker,

www.Drug-Addiction-Support.org

The group session on spirituality was just wrapping up when one of the staffers opened the door and asked “Are you almost finished?” For Janice, one of four women in the group, it was time to go home. She had finished a five-day stay at the residential drug and alcohol treatment center, and this day, as she put it, was “graduation day.”

It was a strange, almost surreal moment. After a stay in the hospital or treatment center, it should be good to go home and be with your. People, given they are medically stable and out of danger, heel better at home. Going home should be a good move. But was it?

Out in the lobby, her husband and pre-teen son waited. Now if my wife had been in treatment and was getting to go back home, I’d be excited. A big part of my life would have been missing, but in his case, the expression on his face told the whole story. Words can’t express the look. “OK, it’s time to take the addict home.” The son sat in a chair, head down, and when his mother came out, he didn’t seem at all enthusiastic about seeing her. In a moment, the family situation became very clear.

Drug addiction tears up families, as those watching their loved one struggle with the disease will bear the emotional scars long after the addiction is under control. What might have been concern for the addict at one point in time sadly can turn to anger and resentment. It’s a kind of “Look what you’ve done to us” mentality and nobody has to say anything. You can read it immediately.
The family goes down the addiction path too, playing their roles. Organizations like Nar-Anon and Al-Anon/Alateen are there just for families. Just as the 12-Steps were created by addicts for addicts, those principles were the basis for family groups. And just like the addict, the family member is not alone. There is help and support.

Janice gathered up her things. There was a short re-uniting in the lobby as she signed out. The moment was not joyous, no kisses, no “I love you” and it was like the husband was picking her up from work. His look told the whole story. She was leaving the structure and security of the treatment center and going back into the environment she was in while using. “Graduation Day” should be celebratory, but something was missing.

In treatment, Janice received compassion and understanding from the other patients. In group it is obvious that they all can relate to each other. There is human connection on a surprisingly deep level, even though the people in treatment may only see each other for a few days. That was going to be missing. Perhaps she had resources lined up and could call on them at a moment’s notice. My sense was she did not. Graduation day didn’t look so good.