Denise Dema is a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, entrepreneurs and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. To learn more about the author and her practice please visit http://www.denisedema.com
When we think of the word addiction we usually think of the obvious ones like food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, TV, spending, work, sex, etc., but many people are not aware of the more subtle addictions. These addictions are often so covert and pervasive that they are invisible to us. Yet these subtle addictions may have a negative impact on us, sabotaging our professional and/or personal relationships as well as our lives on a daily basis. Many people are aware of the fact that addictions are used to avoid pain, and in a way to medicate our feelings in order to function in a manner that is within our comfort level. The reason we do this is because it is easier to make the pain go away than it is to deal with the negative feelings or issues at hand. This is not the way your life was intended to be! You can learn to live a more fulfilling life, naturally, through behavior modification.
You might want to honestly look inside and see what some of your covert addictions are. Are you addicted to blaming others for your unhappy feelings? Are you addicted to a relationship that has run its course but you are still in it? Do you use anger or tears, attempting to make others responsible for you? Are you addicted to illness as a way to avoid personal responsibility for yourself? Are you more focused on trying to control the way others feel about you than you are in taking care of your own feelings? How much of your time is spent daydreaming about what you want to say to others or how you wish life was instead of actually being accountable for yourself? How often do you explain and defend yourself rather than being open to learning? How often do you get angry or withdraw to avoid dealing with your present circumstances? Are you doing things that are habitual with your body and or emotions that are not allowing you to be healthy? Is your thinking addictive? Do you have repetitive thought patterns?
To understand if you have an addiction, you need to pay attention to your thought processes which create your behavioral patterns on a daily basis, in order to see if they are motivated by emotions in spite of adverse consequences. When logic is replaced with anger (with or without justification), the result is the loss of one's well being. Any behavior that is outside of being accountable for your actions, taking care of yourself, and being open to learning about yourself and others, is addictive in nature. All addictive behaviors are attempts to control and suppress rather than learn, governing all that we do. If you are always defending, explaining, resisting, and withdrawing from decisions and situations, then all of your actions are attempts of getting approval and/or avoiding pain. Take a look at whether you react or respond to others. When we respond we are taking responsibility for our situations instead of reacting with emotional repetitive thought patterns that do not serve us.
In order to HEAL you have to FEEL and become aware of your addictions, which is the beginning of learning to release them from your life. Embrace your life the way it was meant to be and deal with your addictions no matter how pervasive they have been. You can achieve your full potential and live a healthy, loving life, without fear when you are able to release all that has been negatively controlling your life and the lives of others that are in it. Changing your thoughts - changes your life. To quote one of my favorite authors, James Allen, "Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not long remain so if you perceive an ideal and strive to reach it."
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- Your Journey Toward Personal Growth
- Your Journey Toward Personal Growth
- The Ten Delusions of Personal Growth
- Journaling For Personal Growth
- Simply Tips to Sustain Your Personal Growth
- Top 9 Ideas for Personal Growth
- Personal Growth and Development: Nightmares - Your Richest Resource for Personal Growth?
- Personal Growth – Sharing My Story




Alcoholism Signs and Symptoms Reviewed
By: Dave Andrews38 | 13/12/2009Alcoholism Signs and Symptoms The word alcoholism is itself so empowering and appealing and for most it brings to the forefront so many dynamic pictures and associations of what it implies to be an alcoholic. Whether it is you or a family member that is alcoholic it is key to look out for certain alcoholism signs and symptoms. It's critical to recognize that drinking and alcoholism can go side by side, but one alcoholism sign and symptom is the over the top drinking of alcohol ...
Alcohol Testing - Why Is It Done?
By: HHTblogger | 10/12/2009Alcohol testing is an important part of modern society, a way of trying to keep roads, schools and workplaces safer. This article explains why alcohol tests are used and some of the options that exist.
Vegas Made it Easy
By: Clifford McHanter | 10/12/2009When that happens you get to take a little of Vegas’ magic with you as you return home the conquering hero. The feeling you get when you leave the casino's a winner, nothing comes close. That's why I put this site together, to give those that want it the chance to leave Vegas bragging about your winnings. What happens in Vegas doesn't HAVE to stay there.
Understanding The Subconscious Mind
By: GregFrost | 10/12/2009First things first, is that we need to know just what kind of mind is the subconscious mind, and at the end of the day, it is a mind that is hidden behind the logical mind, or the aware mind that is within us, and this is something that we need to pay attention to. One thing about us is that the subconscious mind seems to be just a term to us, and there is really no way that we are going to truly understand about it if we do not read on it.
5 Ways To Amp Up Your Brain Power
By: GregFrost | 10/12/2009The first way that you are going to amp up your own brain power is to actually try and see whether or not you can reduce the stress in your life, and if you are in a high stress job or in a high stress situation, you need to be able to control your own breathing or stress levels, and there are certain exercises that you can use to do this of course. They can range from things like yoga, to stretching to even breathing techniques that you can master to actually help you to relax and remove the stress from your life.
Life After an Alcohol and Drug Rehab
By: Alter Sage | 09/12/2009Admission to an alcohol and drug rehab is a difficult and painful process, and often a very confusing one, as it stirs both negative and positive emotions. The experience is usually accompanied by shame, guilt and fear, but also relief.
Group Activities at a Drug Rehab in South Africa
By: Alter Sage | 08/12/2009Addicts attending a drug rehab in South Africa will often participate in group activities as well as individual therapy addiction counselling. Clients participating in drug rehabilitation are important to one another, as much can be learnt from the group interaction within a rehab.
The Best Reasons to Give up Smoking
By: Vincent Hamilton | 06/12/2009Useful information about why someone should quit smoking immediately.Their are various reasons to stop smoking and start a new life.
Embrace the Moment and Learn To Be Happy
By: Denise Dema | 27/07/2009 | Self ImprovementSimply by learning to embrace and live in the moment you can achieve the happiness that seems to elude most people. Your life is the blueprint of the choices you have made, and will only change when you change the plan. Being happy is all relative to what it is that makes you happy. Everyone can learn to embrace the moment and be free of the patterns they have created.
Mentoring Children
By: Denise Dema | 08/07/2009 | Home & FamilyChildren have the potential to succeed in life and contribute to society. However, not all children get the support they need to thrive. Mentoring is a structured and trusting relationship that brings young people together with caring individuals who offer guidance, support and encouragement aimed at developing the competence and character of the mentee.
Recognizing Subtle Addictions
By: Denise Dema | 01/07/2009 | AddictionsWhen we think of the word addiction we usually think of the obvious ones like food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, TV, spending, work, sex, etc., but many people are not aware of the more subtle addictions. These addictions are often so covert and pervasive that they are invisible to us. Yet these subtle addictions may have a negative impact on us, sabotaging our professional and/or personal relationships as well as our lives on a daily basis.
How to Gain Respect & Live Responsibly
By: Denise Dema | 27/06/2009 | Self ImprovementLive an honorable life by making the three R's a reality in your daily life. They are: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.
Teaching Your Children To Have Faith
By: Denise Dema | 27/06/2009 | ParentingHaving faith, and teaching your children to have faith, is an important part of the fundamental growth of your relationship with your child and will determine how your child sees the world.
Empowering Women's Health
By: Denise Dema | 23/06/2009 | Women's HealthLearn to live a healthy, happy life by improving your physical and mental health. Empower other women to reach out and improve their life. Each and every one of us has the ability to choose a healthy lifestyle. Let's start by taking a look at what we could be doing now that can change our daily routines and encourage other women to do the same. We can start by defining what a healthy life style is and how we can become empowered to make a difference in our lives.
Effective Interviews Are The Key To Recruiting The Right Candidates
By: Denise Dema | 23/06/2009 | RecruitmentLearn how to maximzie your interviewing time, hire the right employee's and save your company money. Effective questioning throughout the interview process will reveal the candidates ability to interact and communicate in an unscripted way thus revealing behaviors and information that will help you make better hiring decisions.