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13 Tips to Find yourself

Give Yourself Time

Don't expect everything to click into place quickly. See your 20s as the time to explore, to try out different jobs, relationships and cities.

Take Chances

Now is not the time to settle for anything - it's the time to discover what makes you happy. It's estimated to take three or four job changes to find something you like, and according to US studies, today's 20-somethings change jobs more than eight times before turning 32. Exploration is the only way to know what (and who) you like, and your 20s are the time to do it.

Beware Depression

Twenty-somethings are among the highest risk groups for depression, largely because of the tough transition to adulthood. And one of the most vulnerable times is around a year after graduation. When working life turns out to be less interesting than anticipated, and college friends are scattered geographically and making new friends is difficult. Know the signs - lethargy, irritability, withdrawal, anxiety, hopelessness, helplessness, and changes in sleeping and eating patterns. Get professional help early.

Find Mentors

Tap into a range of people, including your parents and their friends, and lecturers and colleagues. Try to find one mentor who is five years ahead of you in the sort of work or relationship that appeals to you most.

Be Realistic

Today's 20-somethings know their peers judge them by the answer to the question ‘What do you do?’ so they look for positions that define them. They want work to bring money and fulfillment, and to be 'an expression of their identities'. That's a fine goal for your 30s but don't expect to find it much before then. You can only achieve this goal once you've gained some life experience and experimented with various options. Your 20s are a time to follow your heart and to figure out what you are passionate about.

Don't be too Specific

Dreams that are too specific lead to missed opportunities. Instead of telling yourself you're going to write a bestseller tell yourself, that you will make a living from writing. Then even if the rest doesn't follow, other doors may open, possibly in other fields such as advertising, marketing or Internet journalism.

Let Go of Perfectionism

It's fine to be lost and not sure what you're doing. Just do your best and see what comes of it. A positive attitude will get you much further than perfectionism, and will make you much happier. You are not in competition with anyone, although sometimes it feels as though you are. You have to do what makes you happy. That also means not making decisions based on how much your friends are earning, or on the fact that your best friend just got engaged. These people are different from you.

Make the Best of whatever you Have

Don't wait for your dream job before unleashing your creativity. If you want to be an artist, paint after hours; if you don't have time to write that novel, try a short story. If you fancy yourself a rock star, form a weekend band. Now is the best time to get creative, to find what makes you happy and think of ways to achieve it.

Don't Look to a Job to Save your Life

A job is not a life, and a career can't make you happy - relationships will make you happy. When you realize that you and not your career will save you, there's a lot less pressure in the career hunt.

Relax about your Choices

Whether it's a man, a city or a job, try it. If you don't like it, move on and try something else. It doesn't matter if it takes you 10 years to find the right fit. Just choose fields that are growing rather than shrinking. And live below your means - that way you won't be trapped in a career by debt.

Choose a Lifestyle before a Career

Ask yourself what you'd like your life to look like, then opt for a career that can make that possible. If you change what you want from life, you can change your career. Never do something just for the money or for someone else.

Forget about Waiting until you Know Yourself

Knowing yourself can take a lifetime. If you make it a condition for finding a career, you may never feel ready. Accept uncertainty. Stop procrastinating, follow your heart and dive in. It's the best way to find out whether you like it, and so eventually to find yourself.

Above All, Enjoy

If you want to backpack through Africa or waitress in a club for peanuts, now's the time to do it. No experience is ever wasted, and provided you keep your wits about you and take a few sensible precautions, you'll build great experiences to look back on - and build on. You're only young once. Go for it.

Sandra Prior

For more articles on sexual health subscribe to Sandra Prior’s online newsletter at http://intercell.shacknet.nu.

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