Creating An Abundant Lifestyle

Many people believe that an abundant lifestyle is about having money and everything material. Well if this is what you think, you may be in for a let down.

Of course we would all rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable, but to have wealth and happiness is achievable.

When your partner comes home after a day at work, greet him/her at the door and say hello. Ask how his/her day went; keep asking it will become a good habit after 21 days.

When your partner leaves for work in the morning, say Goodbye and I love you or Have a good day, and make sure you do it with an abundant heart, remembering you want an abundant lifestyle in the future. When you ask your partner a question, make eye contact and listen to the answer.

When your partner faces a challenge at work during the day, ask how it went when you get home. Remember though that because of our natures, it is likely the male will want to shrink into his cave for an hour or so, before discussing such issues.

During your evening meal together, avoid the temptation to watch television or read the paper or mail. Look at your partner and have a conversation.

If you want to make plans that affect how your partner will be spending time, check with him/her first and make sure it is convenient.

When you disagree with something your partner says, pay attention to your response. Do you express your opinion without putting him/her down? You can express your opinion assertively rather than aggressively.

For example, you can say, "I have another opinion. I think we should wait until spring to have the walls painted," rather than, "That's silly! We should wait until spring."

Pay attention to how much of your side of the conversation is asking questions versus making statements. If you tend to be the dominant one, ask more questions. When you ask your partner a question, make eye contact and listen to the answer.

Ask open-ended questions to encourage your partner to open up and talk. Open-ended questions begin like this: What was it like when. Tell me about. What do you think of.

Have you become passive with your partner because that is the easiest way to avoid conflict? Over time, this is not a good idea. You will inevitably begin to build up feelings of resentment because you are stifling your feelings, thoughts, and opinions.

If you think you are choosing passive behaviour too often, think about discussing it with your partner and asking him/her to help you be more assertive.

Researchers have found that people whose marriages last the longest have learned to separate from their families of origin (their own parents and siblings) and have appropriate, healthy boundaries.

They value and honor their own privacy and separateness as a couple. This means they have regular, appropriate contact with their extended family, but that it is not excessive or stifling. How do you compare?

Check your communication with your partner and beware of using you messages. These are statements that begin with the word you. For example: "You should call me from the office and tell me when you will be home".
You messages are damaging because they make the other person feel bad or disrespected.

If you want to demonstrate to your partner that you respect him or her, try speaking with I messages instead. When you start your statement with I, you are taking responsibility for the statement.

It is less blameful and less negative than the you message. You can use this formula: a. Your feelings b. Describe the behaviour c. Effect on you.

This is how an I message sounds: "When I heard that you had planned a weekend away, I was confused about why you had not asked me first, so I could be sure to get the time off."

It takes some practice and you have to stop and think about what you are going to say, but your relationship deserves to be handled with care.

Make a list of your partner's positive qualities. Share them and tell him/her why you think each is true. Ask your partner to do the same for you. Respect each other's private space. Over time, many couples let this slide.

As the years pass, many couples begin to feel like they are living in the same house, but have parallel lives. Their paths cross in fewer places.

What is the trend in your relationship and what do you want to do about it today? We hope this articles helps you with your quest for an abundant lifestyle