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Domestic violence is one of the most serious issues that affects the lives of millions of people in the world. Though women are the most commonly abused group, men are also abused by their partners. But women form the majority of those being abused. What kind of a person abuses his/her partner? Why the abuse? What does the abuser get out of this? These are some of the questions that can be discussed to profile people who may indulge in abuse. Let us discuss.
An abuser is a person of low self-esteem. The abuser has no respect for a human being and no compassion for a human life. I do not know if any relationship is found between those who abuse humans and those who abuse animals, but this can be debated. What does the abuser get? The abuser desires control over another person. The abuser does not want another person to criticize his/her actions and thoughts. The abuser invariably blames the abused for provoking them in to abusing. After that they promise that they would not abuse again, but they repeat the abuse after some days. For the abused, this becomes a difficult to decipher pattern. It must be also hurting the healthy mind of the abused and making it difficult for them to make correct judgment.
The abuser may behave perfectly in the society and it becomes difficult to guess that they are abusers. It must be giving them some evil pleasure. The abusers may blame their habit of drinking, smoking or something else to protect themselves, but that is not so. All these habits do not make them abuse. They go along with the abuse. To understand the psychology of an abuser we have to understand the psychology of an evil person. Abusers are nothing but evil persons who wreck other lives.
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And after the horriffic abusive episode and the partner is realing in pain and confusion and anguish over the reality of this seemingly impossible event with her man she just wanted to have a good life with, she is told that it was because of something SHE did and that it was her fault (even when he can't say what she supposedly did) and that she is the cause of her anguish, and she provoked this abusive treatment and she is told "there is something very wrong with YOU!" Then he turns around after his abusive binge and accuses her of saying all the abusive things HE just got done saying! This I believe is murder. An abuser very literally works to weaken and seperate a spirit from a body in order to control. "If you are confused and weak, I can call all shots, tell you what is what, even in your own mind, therefore I control all," says the abuser with his sick sence of power.
Yes, an abuser will wreck your life. We need escape routes both emotionally and pysically and we need to develope a way to alert those who can't even phathom the existance of such evil hiding in a so-called love relationship. I wish I had been alerted!
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