You know he is probably out with some other girl right now - and that can hurt when you think about it too much. Despite what he may be doing now, though, sometimes we just feel we need to get our man back. I have been there myself, not really so long ago. Here are some tips for my lonely girlfriends out there - even those of you whom I have never met - on how to get him back.
A bit of background: just the other evening, my female friends and I were having a much-needed girls' night together at my place. It was over some nice red wine after dinner on my couch when the topic came up about just what can a girl do if she really wants to get back that man of her dreams. After all, we women are so different in so many ways from our male counterparts: how do we communicate with our past loves in a way that makes them want to come back?
By the end of the evening, each of my five friends came up with a unique tip to offer the group on how to get back that love of your life when the flame has died. Here is what we came up with:
Tip #1 from Jeannie, the Waitress: To get him back, you need to first believe that you can. The men I have known always responded well to confidence. On the few occasions wherein I was showing my own insecurity (let's face it: we have all been there), the situation became a self-fulfilling prophecy and he ended up leaving me. On the other hand, whenever I have been confident - that is, persistent, but with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude - I have ended up with him eating out of my hand.
Tip #2 from Evelyn, the Accountant: You need to demonstrate to him that he really needs you. Nobody is an island, and you need to point out the ways that he was happier or better off with you when you were together. State your case in no uncertain terms, but avoid pleading with him. He will respect you if you know your worth.
Tip #3 from Mary, the Housewife: Show him that you can be sexy in a surprising sort of way. Try visiting him in a new outfit that shows off your best assets. Splurge on some expensive eye shadow and lipstick - and maybe some perfume. Make sure to keep yourself looking classy rather than trashy.
Tip #4 from Beth, the Product Designer: If I know he is still somewhat interested in me, I will call him once in a while to ask how he is doing. I am not overly pushy, though. Just maybe a phone call once every couple of weeks. I then may miss a week or two, now and again. And, when he returns my calls, I do not always get back to him the same day. I have found that not appearing too needy is a good thing. This is not game playing: this is dating 101.
Tip #5 from Elizabeth, the Lawyer : He needs to know that you still care. One of the most attractive things about a women is our ability to show tenderness and caring. If you had a truly loving relationship with your boyfriend before, let him know that your caring for him is still alive and well: he is probably not getting it from whomever he is dating now. Send him a single rose. Send him a card. Do not come on too strong, but let him know that you can be there again like that for him if he is game.
To all my girlfriends out there who are pining for your ex boyfriends: you can make it happen again. Take it from my girlfriends and me. Give love a chance again and let him know the special value that you bring to his life.
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