How to Control Jealous Feelings

Some people are just bad actors when it comes to hiding jealous feelings. They barely smile, avoid making eye contact, mumble a few words, and tend to present themselves as if judge and jury when talking about co-workers, relatives and/or friends' latest projects, recent purchases, or other good things happening in their associates' lives. You don't want your jealous feelings to show, so what do you do?

Watch facial expressions.

Avoid the temptation to frown, roll eyes, or deeply sigh. When you do, these things you are sending a message that you want what your relative or friend has whether this is true or not. The Holy scriptures instructs believers not to act"covetous." In other words, have a deep longing for what others have.

Compliment.

It seems easy enough to say something like, "Wow, that's great! Looks good!" when someone gets something we like. However, what comes out of some mouths is, "I wish I had one? Where did you get yours? I wouldn't have shopped there..." It seems that the person saying these things is allowing jealous feelings to show. Allow the one who has received something nice to share the story of how he or she got the item without interruption. Be sure to nod your head, make eye contact, smile, laugh, or do other positive things. You may consider yourself being fake about the person's achievement, but what's the alternative? A frown, an eye roll, a serious expression with nothing said, and/or gossip behind one's back.

Ask questions in a friendly, polite manner showing genuine support.

Your jealous feelings and just basic curiosity is dying to know the details, but don't be like some of those folks who ask the kind of questions that make everyone in the room uncomfortable, "So how much did that cost?" They usually follow that question with a frown, fake smile, or just sit quietly staring. Rather, say things like, "How did you make it? What factors played a part in your decision-making?" Offer the person assistance if you think it would make you feel better by saying something like, "Let me help you with that. Do you need help putting it together?"

Offer support.

When people see that you are being kind and helpful, the last thing they will think is, "She is jealous. He is envious of him."

When all else fails, some people will jokingly admit they are jealous. However, keep in mind the person will most likely put you on his or her watch list. So if something goes missing or comes up broken, you will be the first they come to. Also, if you do things like stare, touch the item often, or talk a lot about the person's good favor, you may be putting yourself on his or her future suspect list. So keep compliments and reactions to a minimum and don't drag them out for days.

Lastly, don't feel obligated to keep the conversation going about the person's good news especially with others. Before long what was meant to be good conversation, will eventually turn into gossip. You can easily change the discussions at the workplace by stating you have to get back to work or you have a deadline to meet and will have to go. If at home, you can get off the phone when conversations begin to sound bitter simply by telling the caller you have to tend to your children, making something to eat or watch a favorite show. Stay on the phone talking negative and you will be deemed jealous. Most likely, your conversation will be repeated elsewhere.