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How To Live The Success You Really Want

Author: John Halderman Author Ranking Blue | Posted: 29-07-2006 | Comments: 0 | Views: 116 | Rating:  (50) Article Popularity - Green (?) Got a Question? Ask.
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The things you have in mind for yourself, all those dreams, you're living them - right.

Well since you've read all about what success is and how to get it, now you are a success, right.

OK, I know, you're not yet living with all that you want, but you have read all about success, so you know everything about it, right.

So, if you know about success, what's holding you back?

Why are you living with anxiety, depression and low self-esteem rather than happiness, joy, positive thinking and high self-esteem?

There seems to be a gap between knowing about something and your actual assimilation of it into your own life. Why is this?

Learning is an interesting thing. Most people think they learn a lot in school and from all the books they have read. This is not actually the case, particularly when it comes to developing your daily thinking and your behavior patterns.

Think about this; even if you went to collage, how much of what you needed for your first job did you really get from the college learning experience. Didn't you still find that the real learning began on the job?

It's always this way, real learning, what you use to form you predominant though and the routine actions you take came from modeling others. When you started that first job, you copied and followed what others were doing, sure there was some explanation, but most of your knowledge and skills came from watching and following others.

Most employers know that you are in a training period for a while after you start, even if you have been in the field for a while. My personal experience from working in small companies which you may be able to relate to, was that there was very little formal training, it was almost all from modeling others and my own abilities to apply my past experience to the present situation.

As you developed in a trade or career, how did you continue to enhance your abilities? Mostly in two ways, you continued to pick up on more details, tricks, methods and processes from others, or you developed them yourself using the knowledge you had acquired up to that point.

Formal learning and books gives us background on a subject and possibly somewhat of an understanding of the topic, but the real learning comes from watching the example of others along with our own actual personal experience and integration.

Let's look at how you learned as a child?

Again, you mainly copied those close to you, at first primarily from your parents and siblings.

As you get older you are more and more influenced by piers, school and activity mates, and then by people you admire.

This all goes on for the most part automatically without your awareness or control. Your mind is perfectly capable of copying language skills, behavior patters, mannerisms, attitudes and ways of perceiving things, all with out the need of your conscious thought.

This capacity to model others is the most powerful and automatic learning method humans have. You didn't have to study, read or memorize anything to learn most of what guides your moment to moment thoughts and actions. You did it by following what others did.

The most powerful mode of learning is live human interaction. You actually watch what they do, with full human interaction, using all of your senses.

The next, almost as effective mode is hearing someone describing what and how they do what they do. With this you get the power of what comes through their voice, including all the emotional and attitudinal nuances that are reflected through their speech. Hearing directly from the person actually doing the thing is more affective than having it told by another.

The least effective method for learning thought patterns and behaviors, which can't actually be termed as modeling, is to read about it. This method does not provide any connection to true real human interaction. You are relying totally on your interpretation of printed text and imagination to gain usable value. Reading is a good way to get a basic idea about something. But just like with your formal education, you need to be around others to effectively assimilate it for your own use.

Ask yourself this, looking at yourself, how many people have you modeled directly versus those you have read about?

The more of your senses that are involved the better your ability to assimilate the behavior into your life. You are touched by the whole person rather than by a description of them.

Find people who are successful in life to model the kind of thought and behavior that will support the life you want for yourself. Learning from modeling can really only be considered when done live or through voice communication, otherwise it's just studying 'about' them.

You need to get the nuances and the essence of the feelings behind their thoughts and actions, if you hope to actually take on those attributes yourself. The power of communication is in the emotional undertones that are unknowingly transferred.

This is where you will understand the self-awareness level, the positive attitude and thinking, the self-confidence, and motivation behind what they do that you can use yourself to support your actions.

Look for more than what is seen as the surface communication, and you will find a powerful self-improvement resource for yourself.

Your dreams are readily possible when you support them with the right thoughts and actions.

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John Halderman Smash stress, anxiety & depression -build self-esteem, self-confidence, motivation, change habits and experience success and happiness. Model known success traits. http://www.designalifesystem.com/modelsuccess.html
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Any ideas?
By: templestrnk | 30-08-2008
I have tried prozac paxcil wellbutrin and now i take zoloft so far it seems to be the only one the works .Ive been on antidepression meds since 1994 when my wife left with my four year old son.Its been up and down i still think about killing myself when i have bad days but have no real thought of doing it the zoloft now at 150mg a day keeps me going to work paying the bills but about five months ago it seems ....Well all i want to do is sleep even when im at work .I want to hurry up get done so i can go home and sleep the past five months every weekend i get nothing done due to sleeping all day on friday get up a little on saturday just to get basic life chores done like washing my uniforms for work but i dont care about anything i dont want to ride my motorcycle or work on my hotrod or even get out and cut the grass. I always wait till the last minute to due somethings i the its getting in to a rush to get it done that gets me to do it.This past friday was my fourth time missing a doctors appt. To renew my script for zoloft i didnt go cause i had enough to last till next friday.I didnt want to go.My doctor is good she tries to help but i alway make like every thing isnt as bad as it really is.Lately with all the wasted time sleeping my life away i keep thinking that there has to be somthing wrong there has to be a drug that will fix this,i sleep cause im tired all the time extreamly tired no energy. I tried diff. Vitamns drink alot of mountain dew,i also have taken the over the counter ephdrine for about eight years to still function witch in my case a problem i have a comercial drivers lic,and have to take random drug test all the time and it will show up like i take meth,not only that its not being sold as much as otc you have to buy online.I take about 200mg when i get up before i go to work about five hrs later i take another 75mg to keep me up for the rest of my shift witch is 10 or 12 0r sometimes 14hrs long.Bottom line..With the depression and fatige any ideas?

Is subjective gre compulsory for addmission?
By: psychology | 30-08-2008
is subjective gre compulsory for addmission?

Is subjective gre compulsory for addmission?
By: psychology | 30-08-2008
is subjective gre compulsory for addmission?

I feel nervous everytime i go to work. esp. in the ...
By: ricky ramos | 30-08-2008
i feel nervous everytime i go to work. esp. in the morning. i often skip work without the knowing of my wife. sometimes i am absent from work for a week.

Can Doreen accept her mom always thought she was thin
By: voterperson | 30-08-2008
  QUESTIONS: (1) If you were Doreen would you say that yes my mom always thought I was thin and (2) she just said that remark about people calling me fat because she was mad" : (3) How would you interpret both conversations and would do you think Doreen misinterpreted the word ?any more?? (4) Would you think ?any more? means that Doreen?s mom did not think she was thin in the past.     UPDATE: Doreen: "Mom you always thought I was thin" Mom: "Yes" Doreen: "What about when we had another fight at home after the fight in the car and you said that I get mad if people call me fat" Mom: "Who would ever call you fat. I only said that because I was mad"   PART ONE :: OK yesterday Doreen?s mom (in her 80?s) and Doreen (in her 50?s) went to a movie.. Any way as the movie started all of a sudden Doreen got very hot and extremely dizzy.   Mom: ?What is wrong? Doreen: ?I feel dizzy? The dizziness stopped but Doreen was nervous a little bit throughout the movie. When the movie ended:   Mom: ?Just wait until we get into the car I want to talk to you? Doreen: ?Well if we are going to have a fight I don?t want to hear it? Mom: ?Then take the bus? But Doreen got into the car Mom: ?You have to stop drinking coffee? Doreen: ?I know I am going to stop? (And Doreen thought that would be the end of the conversation - wrong) Mom: ?I know you drink coffee for weight loss. You don?t need to lose any more weight? Doreen: ?But I was always skinny? Mom: ?Yes but now you are even skinnier?   This got Doreen mad and they had some fight. When they came home her mom said nasty things to Doreen and Doreen said nasty things back to her mom. Mom: ?You need to gain weight? Doreen: ?No I don?t? Mom: ?It isn?t just the coffee but the way you eat? Doreen: ?I like salads? Mom: ?But when you order a salad they give you mostly lettuce and six strips of chicken you leave over two.?   PART TWO; (THE NEXT DAY); Doreen: ?Mom do you want to know why I got mad yesterday it is because you made it sound like I wasn?t always thin? Mom: ?That is how you hear it? Then about five minutes later they had a terrible fight because her mom started to rant and rave. Doreen: ?All I wanted was for you to answer that one question? Mom: ?OK yes you were fat before - how?s that? - her mom said this in a tone to get Doreen mad and upset.   UPDATE (TWO DAYS LATER): Doreen: "Mom you always thought I was thin" Mom: "Yes" Doreen: "What about when we had another fight at home after the fight in the car and you said that I get mad if people call me fat" Mom: "Who would ever call you fat. I only said that because I was mad"    

I would like to know what the relative rates of ...
By: Dave | 29-08-2008
I would like to know what the relative rates of success are for the major models of psychotherapy. Ideally, recovery rates (xy%)after xyz therapy sessions

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