Leadership in Conversation

Have you ever been in a conversation that you wanted to go one way and, it took a complete u turn? Did you have control of the conversation, and then all of a sudden out of no where, the person you were talking with took complete control of the conversation and, all you could do is watch as the momentum shifted in your associates favor? Here's a secret, to be a leader in any conversation you may have, doesn't mean that you have to be talking one hundred percent of the time. In fact it almost means the complete opposite. Here are four keys to take control of any conversation with anybody with ease!

First and foremost listen. Now you maybe thinking, why would I have to listen to lead a conversation? The simple fact is, people love to talk about themselves, venting, and getting things off of there chest. When you let people do these things, what it does for you is it gives you credibility in the other persons eyes, which in turn builds trust, not only that but, it also establishes you as an expert and a great person to get to know, or to be around.
Secondly let us both agree to agree. What this means to you is that you agree with what the person you are talking with is saying. Now I know this maybe hard in the beginning, considering most people don't want there ego deflated by being wrong. I know this is tough but the trick is to find a point of agreement. Once you find that point of agreement, and you agree, what this does is it makes the person you're talking with feel good, which in turn makes it easier for them to let there guard down.

The third piece of the puzzle is to use reframe. A lot of people really don't know what the word reframe really means. What it means is to change, alter, or reverse the mental mind state of the person you're talking with to the complete opposite of what they may have thought or maybe thinking now. One way to do this is take what you agreed on from the previous statement and reverse it with something like, I agree with some of what your saying Tim, but wouldn't you agree that, and fill in your statement.

The Fourth key to controlling a conversation is simply taking control. At this point it is a lot easier to take control if you followed the other three steps. Now the other person may not have agreed with the last point you made. If that is the case and ninety percent of the time it won't be. Drop the subject and move on to another, but if they agreed with you, you may further push your point to try and persuade the person your talking with. Be aware though you must be very smooth and subtle when trying to persuade someone to your point of view. Remember as I said earlier people don't like there ego's crushed or deflated.

Being a leader is not hard. If this article has done nothing else for you, I hope that it at least has given you more confidence to take control of conversations, and situations that are important to you. Leadership takes practice, and if you're willing to follow these steps, and put for the time and the effort, the rewards will be well worth it in the end.