Extreme low self-esteem in children and teenagers can be very dangerous to their ability to say no to bad influences like drugs, alcohol and illicit sex.
Maintaining a high level of self esteem can help a child or teen find the courage to stand up against the crowd for what they believe and say no with courage and power. Self-esteem is what helps us all hold our heads up high and believe that we can accomplish anything we set out to do. All wonderful traits we want to instill in our kids.
Unfortunately for far too many teens, sudden changes in their bodies and emotions can leave them scared, confused and frightened. Many lose their ability to feel good about themselves and begin to make bad choices that can adversely affect their futures.
How can you, as a parent, tell the difference between normal teenage angst and serious self-esteem issues? Watch for these important clues:
-A sudden change in the way they look and take care of their appearance.
A child who has always been meticulous about the way they dressed and looked, and who suddenly takes no care in themselves or their clothing may be adopting an attitude of "I'm always a mess anyway so no one will notice."
-Exhibits an extreme need to be perfect.
Children who feel that they must be perfect at everything often do so as a way to hide all the things they perceive that they can't do correctly. Being studious is one thing, but if your child suddenly exhibits an unnatural need for perfection, or has a hard time dealing with even the smallest amount of criticism; it may be a sign of trouble.
-An inability to try new things.
It's natural for children and teens to want to try new things and have new experiences. A child who consistently shies away from anything but the norm, may not have the confidence to believe that they can succeed.
-Constant belittling.
A child with a good sense of self esteem is can easily interact with their peers and accept life's challenges without making it a big deal, while children with low self esteem will constantly belittle themselves even when they do succeed.
What if you recognize these signs in your own child? What can you do to help build your child's self esteem? Follow these tips:
-Watch what you say.
Be gentle with any criticism and watch for opportunities to offer thoughtful (and truthful) praise.
-Be a positive role model.
Don't be too hard on yourself either. If you expect too much from yourself, your children are apt to follow your lead and mirror your behavior.
-Be affectionate with your child.
Give your kids lots of hugs and praise. Let them know that they are worthy of your love and attention.
-Make your child feel safe and nurtured.
Take the time to make him or her feel important.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How do i stop analyzing what people say
By: ed prochaska | 09-07-2008
how do i stop analyzing what people say
What evidence do we have that humans are competent ...
By: SoCalCarGirl | 01-06-2008
What evidence do we have that humans are competent enough to cope with life?
Person in need
By: John | 26-05-2008
I have a daughter in law who has serious financial problems.She is in need of emergency rent, utilities, food and cloths. I have been trying to keep them in a home and utilities, food and so on but there are limitations to what I can do. This woman does not have a job. one of her teenage daughters have a job but no transportation. My wife and I provide it. The money she makes is not great but helps out some. I do not like getting gas money from her but sometimes I do to keep me from being totally consumed by the situation, It is very difficult to provide for two households. There father is in jail so there is no child support .This woman needs some emergency help, and a job. My daughter inlay has skills. She went to college. She does well in a business environment. With a little bit of hope and encouragement this situation could become some what more manageable. She could be a great asset to some company out there.I do not no of any place in this county that may be able to provide assistance or job placement. I would deeply appreciate any help in this matter.Thanks John
How can i help him
By: Kellyh06 | 28-04-2008
A friend of mine has already done a 3 years stint in prison for being involved in a armed robbery. he is now out and on good behavior but has been caught drink driving twice. I realise that this means he will probably go back in this time,but when he gets out again does anyone have any ideas on how to boost his self esteem so he can see he is worth more? i really dont think he thinks he is....... just so you know im not dating this person and please dont answer if you are going to say he is a loser etc etc
I am too clingy!!
By: cindylou | 14-04-2008
I feel like I am am becoming too clingy. This is something that I find myself doing with every relationship. I really want this one to be a healthy one but i know if i keep acting like this i may push him away. First of all, I have major trust issues. I think every guy is going to cheat on my and or meet someone they feel is better. I know I am an awsome person and that he is lucky but deep down these feelings ALWAYS resurface. My boyfriend and I have been togethr almost four months, not to long I know. The more i start to care about someone the more i get scared and become clingly and lose my self esteem. What can i do to work on this?? It causes me ALOT of anxiety and i sometimes get sick over the anxiety . I am hanging out with him tonight, silly me said do you want to hang out tonight or is that too much katie? (yes we hung out last night) he said if I want we can. So yes we are hanging out tonight, however now I feel dumb that I asked him again. What do i do, like i said i will see him tonight but i want to try to play cool and not come across as clingy although I am sure i have already. Is there anything I can say tonight??
Please Help!!!
By: ihatejobs | 19-03-2008
Hello - I just graduated college at the end of 06' w/ a degree in biology. I got a job right out of college working for the worst boss ever - I left after only nine months as I could no longer stand it - the politics were awful, my boss made my self esteem reach an all time bottom low, and I was scarred - so I started my own internet home business so I wouldnt ever have to deal w/ ppl like that again. Only thing is, we're really broke and I'm not making any money on this business - it's only been three months, but we need more money to put into it, so I really need to go get a job, full or part time. I have such horrible anxiety about being around new ppl, I'm constantly worrying about what others think of me, and I'm shy (but only around new ppl - I'm outgoing w/ ppl I know) I have such self esteem problems, and I am forcing myself to go back to work - I just don't want to get fired again.. And I am looking for advice on what would be some good low stress jobs, maybe working a lone, that doesn't pay minimum wage! I wouldn't mind putting my degree at use, but I'm open to ANYTHING. PLEASE HELP!!! I feel so trapped :(
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