Gian Fiero is an educator, speaker and consultant. He specializes in business development, career planning, and personal growth issues. He is affiliated with San Francisco State University as an adjunct professor, and the United States Small Business Administration (SBA) as a business advisor, in addition to conducting lectures, workshops, and counseling sessions throughout the country.
Over the years it's come to my attention that people - educated, accomplished, or just highly opinionated - tend to be very generous in giving advice. They mean well, for the most part, but they often don't weigh the outcome of their generosity.
Advice, like food, tastes better when one is hungry for it. Ever try and feed a baby or a child when they are not hungry? Compare that to feeding both when they have sufficient hunger. The difference is stark. The former will make them seem undesirous. The latter makes them seem ravenous.
When it comes to getting advice, people are the same way.
Men, unlike women, feel more compelled to give advice. Women often want to vent frustrations, anger, and a myriad of emotions about situations, and men want to offer advice on how to fix it. It's classic. The woman was never seeking solutions; she just wanted to vent. The advice went unnoticed because there was never a need or desire for it.
Women have an uncanny ability to share information, insight, experiences, troubles, and anxieties without seeking or offering advice. Men have an innate need to solve problems; their need to be competent problem solvers dates back to prehistoric times when their survival was contingent upon solving the problems of hunting and providing food for a family. It's instinctive.
Though it's rarely discussed, there is advice protocol that should be followed. It doesn't matter if the advice you want to give is of a personal or professional nature.
First, before you firmly assert yourself as all-knowing (which is perilously close to being a know-it-all), understand that no one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care. If you really don't care if a person's situation can be enhanced or changed with your advice, don't bother.
It's more important that you show that you not only care about how a problem is plaguing someone, but that you have taken the time to understand the totality of the problem. In other words, fully comprehending it. This is accomplished by asking questions to get to the root of the problem.
Secondly, once you've established yourself as an empathetic listener, ask the person if they want advice. Leading with a question such as, "I totally understand your problem; I have some experience that may be helpful to you. Would you like some advice?"
This gives you the chance to gage their sincere interest in receiving advice. It's a simple premise: a person who is sincere about receiving advice, is more receptive to it.
On the flip side, a person who really takes the time to understand the nuances, backdrop, and context of a situation or problem, is more qualified to evaluate of they are truly qualified to offer advice.
When giving advice take these points into consideration and remember, sometimes an empathetic ear which understands and appreciates a problem, is just as helpful as a knowledgeable mind which is eager to dissect and solve it.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- Bridging Loan Advice: an Advice That Can Change Your Life
- IVA Advice: an Advice making you Debt Free
- Teenage Relationship Advice – Relationship Advice on How to Seek Love
- Ex Girlfriend Advice, Girlfriend Advice To Win Them Back
- The Savage Love Advice Column Advice - Understanding What His Column and Advice is All About
- Clear You’re Debts With Advice Iva
- Free Iva Advice: Free Counsel at Your Doorstep
- Free Debt Consolidation Advice – Debt Help for you




Advice to Help Quit Smoking
By: Nathan Webster | 23/11/2009By using a tobacco alternative, dieting, and regular exercise the withdrawal from tobacco will be greatly alleviated. A person will find that this technique may take longer than just stopping cold turkey. But, the results will be long lasting and will not require an intense withdrawal period.
Tips For Saving Money At The Pump
By: Brenna Hartmann | 23/11/2009Cutting down on fuel cost from driving.
How To Have Confidence In Verbal Communication
By: Kristin Hutchings | 20/11/2009Confidence in verbal communication is something we all need to acquire. What you say is just as important as how you say it. This article shows you the strategies for effective and confident verbal skills.
Phone Psychic Tips and Advice
By: Rachel Peterson | 19/11/2009If you have considered using a phone psychic then there are a few tips and advice that are very important to know before you make that first call. Find out exactly what you need to know concerning phone psychic readings.
Proper Etiquette for a Pleasant Tea Party
By: chelsi woolz | 18/11/2009Find out the top 10 tips to how a lady should behave when hosting a tea party. Discover the tea etiquettes that makes a ladette into a lady, just like the famous TV show.
To be a Successful Businessman
By: Tinny | 18/11/2009If you have a business to run, what can you do to make it success? If you see someone have run a business well, what do you think about their success?
How to Stay Beautiful through the Natural Way of Taking Care of the Skin
By: Emma G. Fox | 18/11/2009Court records witnessed many cases where beautification of a person is involved. This is either based on a cosmic surgery error or a product hoax. Here are ways to stay beautiful and youthful at a healthier and natural way.
Why You Should Try Hypnosis
By: Gen Wright | 18/11/2009Hypnosis can help you in many ways. It's a powerful method of suggestion that will help send messages to your subconscious mind. To be successful at hypnosis, you must first be a willing party. In other words, you must be open to the method.
Afraid of the Dark - Working With Black Men in Corporate America
By: Gian Fiero | 11/11/2009 | Public RelationsDespite the historical appointment of our first black president, much hasn't changed in terms of black male presence in corporate America. This article sheds light on some of the reasons why black men are underrepresented in office environments.
To Be, Or Not to Be, an Entrepreneur
By: Gian Fiero | 11/11/2009 | EntrepreneurshipAre you considering going into business for yourself? Have you always wanted to be your own boss and call the shots? Do you feel that working for yourself would be easier than being an employee? This article provides answers to those questions, and can help you decide if you really want to be an entrepreneur.
Some Advice About Giving Advice
By: Gian Fiero | 10/11/2009 | AdviceAdvice is not hard to come by these days, but finding people who understand advice protocol might be more difficult. Read on to find out how to give advice with care and diplomacy.
Why Men Find Nice Butts So Sexy
By: Gian Fiero | 31/10/2009 | SexualityWhat is it about a woman's nice butt that men find so attractive? This article sheds an intellectual light, on a very primal subject, to provide some surprisng (and not so surprising) answers to that question.
How To Be Sexy - As A Couple
By: Gian Fiero | 20/10/2009 | SexualityThis article provides couples with some helpful ways in which they can achieve greater intimacy through better sexual interaction and activities.
10 Things That Men Find Sexy
By: Gian Fiero | 16/10/2009 | SexualityWant to know what men find sexy? This informal, longitudinal survey is for women who want to peer into the mind of a diverse group of men who revealed some interesting information about what they consider sexy.
How to Wear a Hat With Style
By: Gian Fiero | 14/10/2009 | FashionHats are not just an accessory. When worn properly, they can be a special garment that makes a bold fashion statement. Read on to get useful tips on how to select and wear hats to achieve a new look.
Excuses, Excuses - What They Reveal About People
By: Gian Fiero | 11/10/2009 | Self HelpEveryone has met someone who is full of excuses. Ever wonder why and how they got that way? This article explains how the mind works of people who habitually offer excuses for things that they do, and don't do.