The decision to improve your self esteem can be an important step in improving your life and gaining the respect of other people. Although, building your self esteem is not difficult, you do need to know how to go about it. Here are ten ways to help your self esteem grow:
1. Choose your company wisely. Avoid people who are overly or persistently negative or cynical and instead choose the company of those who have a positive and uplifting outlook.
2. Get clear about your goals. If you set goals and work steadily towards them, achieving small successes along the way to the larger ones, you will gain confidence and begin to feel a lot better about yourself. By reducing larger goals to a series of smaller steps, you increase your chances of achieving them. You will also be able to enjoy the sense of accomplishment whenever you can cross one of the smaller goals off your list.
3. Think and speak deliberately positively about yourself. When things are difficult it is easy to be hard on yourself and focus on your mistakes. However if you remind yourself of your strengths, achievements and importance to your family and friends you can lift your mood and increase your self esteem.
4. Learn to accept and use constructive criticism. You need to set boundaries about what sort of criticism you will be influenced by. If it is negative and an obvious attempt at attacking your self confidence, deflect it or ignore it. However, if the criticism is constructive you can learn from it and use it for feedback on your journey of personal growth. Helpful criticism will guide you in overcoming your weaknesses. As your weaknesses disappear and you become the person you want to be, your self esteem will soar.
5. Be resilient. If you fall down, be willing to get back up again and keep on going. Everyone fails at different times in their lives, it doesn't mean you're a failure. Decide to belief the best about yourself and your future. Be persistent and know success is in your future. If we retain our optimism and resilience we will be able to weather the most difficult of circumstances.
6. Don't compare yourself to other people. There will always be people who are more successful and less successful than you at any point in your life. If you compare your self to others, you make yourself vulnerable to feeling inferior. Instead, evaluate yourself on how far you have come in your own life not how far you feel you have to go. This approach to life will strengthen your self confidence and improve your overall self esteem.
7. Don't belittle yourself. If we don't quickly recover from the disappointments in our lives we can end up wallowing in a sense of failure. Our self respect, confidence and self esteem can be eroded to the point of non existence. Do your best to defeat negative thinking and deliberately strive to project a positive image. The attitude you show the world will affect how you are treated and how you are treated will impact how you feel about yourself. If you are treated with respect, you will feel more positive about yourself. So try to accept yourself and avoid the habit of self criticism.
8. Stand up to bullies. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes and social status. Unfortunately, they don't disappear once we leave school. We can find them in workplaces, in our families or in our social groups. If you are dealing with bullying at any level, it is important to stand up to the bully. Practice being assertive rather than aggressive and teach people how you want to be treated. As people treat you with greater respect, your self esteem will improve.
9. Learn to relax with people. If you are shy or self conscious and find it difficult to break the ice with people you don't know, your self esteem has probably taken a battering. Our confidence in relating to other people has a big impact on how they treat us and how we feel about ourselves. Practice starting conversations with people who don't know well or at all. Listen to what they have to say and if the conversation gets bogged down, ask some questions. Show your interest through your body language and your responses. As you get used to talking to new people, your self esteem will improve and you will feel more confident in social situations.
10. To feel your best you need to look your best. If you are lounging around in creased, unfashionable clothing, you are not going to feel as good about yourself as if you are well dressed and well groomed. Remember, the impression we give other people will impact how we are treated by them and how we feel about ourselves. It is also important to look after your health, not only to look good, but to feel energized and positive about life. A healthy self esteem and a healthy body go hand in hand.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Grieving process for a 12 year old
By: petunyabug | 10-07-2008
What is the "normal" grieving process for a 12 year old? (It was his dad) I'm sure that is why he is sleeping a lot and staying in bed and being smart alecky. (yes, I know part of that is his age in general) I just need to know signs to look out for that there may be trouble brewing. Thank you!!
How do i stop analyzing what people say
By: ed prochaska | 09-07-2008
how do i stop analyzing what people say
Dependent Personality Disorder?
By: wendi | 09-07-2008
My ten year old stepdaughter was adopted. Her adoptive mother died when the child was 3 years old. Now she can't do anything on her own. She can't make even minor decisions like what to wear. When she is asked a question or is asked to do something she will just stand there and stare like you are speaking another language. She constantly wants to be near her dad. I understand that it was hard losing a mother at three years old, but how do i get her to become more independent with minor decisions?
Describe someone who is your opposite number
By: qzmaster591 | 09-07-2008
Try to describe someone that's the opposite to you, in every detail.Then ask to yourself: may he/she be your friend?
Is 20 years to long to have problems?
By: Jangle | 09-07-2008
My wife was raped at 13 years old by four of her classmates. Since then she has had 2 marriages. The sex in the first marriage was non-existant. The sex in the current marriage is semi-regular and both parties are "mostly" satisfied. However, she cannot bring herself to touch any part of my sexual anatomy. It is quite clear that she enjoys the actual intercourse part. She also enjoys foreplay performed on her. I am not aware of what happened exactly during the rape, other than that their where four misguided boys. What can I do? I am very happy with my marriage and she says that she is also. We are both around 40 years old. Our current sex life is Ok, but I need a little variety. I kept hoping that the 40 year old female sex drive would snap her out of it, but nothing yet. HELP!
Breaking Into Pieces.
By: jmdillon | 09-07-2008
Hi all. All I can't say is, help. About a year and a half ago my father was diagnosed with stage IV bladder cancer. Since then it has spread to his lungs, liver and abdomen. Nurses say he has several months. My family is in Ohio and I am working in Washington, DC. I am 23 and my dad is only 55, unfair if you ask me. My dad and I have always been close. He is ordained in the Methodist Church and has worked in the church for years so our family has always been involved together in the church. The last report we got from the doctor is that the masses in his lungs have doubled and tripled in size in the past 2 months since he chose to stop treatment (it was doing more harm than good). So, at 23, i'm dealing with something way beyond what I am prepared for. But, on top of this, my boyfriend of 2.5 years, with whom I live, has decided to go to Cornell (500 miles away) for a graduate program. Sean, my boyfriend, has been my stronghold, my shoulder, my rock since my father was diagnosed. As poorly as I may be handling my father's condition, it has definitley been better than had Sean not been with me to support me. My support system of friends and family are all in Ohio, so Sean is all I have here. My question is, how do I do this? I personally don't think I am emotionally capable of maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship with half of my heart being in Ohio with my family. I need someone to BE there for me. What do I do? How do I end a relationship I never thought would end, and live to see the next day? How does pain like this not kill a person?
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