Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.
It is a sad and true fact that the vast majority of people are not really happy.
The reason for this all of the unhappiness is because to many people are looking for reasons outside of themselves to be happy. You know what I mean, I am sure that you have probably said this yourself, "I will be happy when..." What is that when? When you find the perfect mate? When your children have children that live the life you always wanted or maybe it is when you get that promotion and the raise that goes with it. Ok, you get those things - but then what happens once the initial excitement wears off?
At first you are happy that you have that perfect mate.
At first you are happy that you got the promotion and the raise.
At first you are happy when your children show the drive to achieve what you want for them.
The list can go on forever of all the things that make us happy at first.
Maybe you don't exactly say that you will be happy when you get something. You could term it like this, "I will do this, when that happens." I have to ask you, what are you waiting for? You are giving up control of your life and making your happiness contingent upon something that you really have no control over.
I know a guy named Mike that used to think way. He always said that he would travel the world once he found his perfect mate. He said that for many years and then one day it dawned on him, that he didn't need to have the perfect mate to travel the world. In fact he didn't need a mate at all. He now travels the world, it is a rare weekend that you find him sitting at home, he is truly happy and he is single.
The moment you realize that your happiness is not based on what it going on, on the outside your life will change. Sure you are happy in the beginning with whatever it is that you got, but that happiness only last so long.
Think about the list above, at first you were happy with that ideal mate. Your attitude though has not changed and now the happy relationship is routine and you are waiting for the next big thing to make you happy.
You did get the promotion and the raise and you knew that meant you would get the ideal house that you and your spouse wanted. You move in and it is happy and exciting for awhile but all to soon, the routine nature of life kicks in and again you are waiting for the next big thing to make you happy.
You need to stop right now and look at all the time you are wasting in your life being happy for "things in life." You will never truly be happy when you make that happiness dependent on external factors.
So What is the Secret the to True Happiness
You would think with all the books that have been written about how to be happy, there would be more happy people in the world. Ok, reading isn't for everyone but there are books on tape to listen - people still are not happy. The biggest surprise is that most of the people that read those books or listen to those tapes still aren't happy.
This is enough to make you think that truly being happy must be a really tough task to accomplish.
You know that isn't necessarily true. You have seen happy people, they are always smiling, when they talk it sounds like they are smiling and when they walk they have a certain pep in their step. You want what they have - you begin to look at their life and what they have.
Did you find their secret to happiness?
After taking a closer look have you finally begun to see that it isn't anything they own? It is really something simple and easy to do.
Happiness, true happiness is actually pretty quick to attain and there really isn't a long drawn out procedure to follow.
Nope, you missed it. Well here is the secret:
Happiness comes from the inside, it is an internal factor, not an external one.
True happiness comes from the inside out. True happiness is found when you realize that there isn't anything in the world that can make you happy except for yourself. You are the master of your own destiny, your happiness is yours and yours alone. The way you choose to react to what life offers you is what dictates your happiness.
Wake up every morning and say out loud, "Today I am happy." Do you know something, you will be happy. If you go to work and a stressful event happens remind yourself that. "Today I am happy." It doesn't make the stress go away, it just changes the way you react to that stress.
Happy people react differently to stress. They simply go with the flow, they do not let the stress consume them. You can be that person, a truly happy person.
First you have to make that determination each and every morning.
If need be, on a piece of paper write the phrase, "Today I am happy,' and tape it all over your home and your office space.
Repeat it to yourself every chance you get through the day. Repeat it more often when stress arises. Say it until you believe it.
Go a step further, smile. It is hard to be negative and anger with a smile on your face. Smile and embrace the world, when you are a truly happy person the world is your play thing.
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