Who said language doesn't matter in making relationships work?
In an interview with Deborah Tannen, whose new book, You're Wearing That?
Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation, has just hit the top sellers list, the New York Times and Tannen have this exchange:
"Q. Many of the women you've interviewed for your new book complain of mothers who criticize their appearance. Are they right to be annoyed?
A. "Right" and "wrong" aren't words a linguist uses. My job is to analyze conversations and discover why communications fail. The biggest complaint I hear from daughters is: 'My mother's always citicizing me.' And the mother counters, 'I can't open my mouth; my daughter takes everything as criticism.'
But sometimes caring and criticism are found in the same words.
When mothers talk about their daughters' appearance they are often doing it because they feel obligated to tell their daugher something that no one else will.
The mother feels she's caring. The daughter feels criticized. They are both right.
What I try to do is point out each side to each other. So, the mother needs to acknowledge the criticism part, and the daugher needs to acknowledge the caring part.
It's tough because each sees only one."
Tannen adds, "If you understand how conversational styles work, you can make adjustments in conversations to get what you want in your relationships."
This is true for conversational styles between sellers and buyers as well. Any seller's first challenge is to get the attention of the other person.
Often, the language sellers use gets in the way of that. Sellers have a way of talking that is instantly recognizable to the rest of the world. And in my classes, thousands of people, themselves in sales, say that when a seller starts talking, they want to run the other way.
How would you know if you come across like one of those sellers people love to hate?
Here are two tell tale signs:
1. They speak to us in technobabble - as if they forgot how to speak like a normal person. Glyconutrients that impact at the cellular level is not how normal people talk. Save the jargon for talking with each other. Sellers must relearn to speak in a human voice if they want to engage consumers - that's us, all of us. We want to speak to people who speak our own language.
2. They hype. E.g. They make big promises about what will happen when the person buys their thing - but how can they keep a promise about someone else's future? Or they give us the bombastic boasts - "We are positioned to become the preeminent provider of XYZ..." But no one that matters is listening. Consumers have become immune to this kind of fake communication.
Attention is in short supply. No one has time to give you their attention. To get it, you have to tell them something interesting, and in the first ten seconds. One way is to learn to tell an authentic story - yours, using a human voice that others can instantly relate to. (See "If My Product's So Great, How Come I Can't Sell It?" for suggestions.)
If you can't get someone's attention with the words you use, how can you hope to start a relationship?
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PR or Marketing???What is more ...
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You have a child with their own computer, this child is not the ISP account holder a webwise page pops up this child spots the name webwise and associates this with the BBC program he uses at school so clicks to allow. This child has just been allowed to alter the T&C of the ISP account while under the age of being allowed to give informed consent, The ISP now is profiling a minor without parental consent, changed the customers T&C without his verifiaction. Would this fall into invaision of privacy since the person consenting was mislead by false advertising yes Phorm selected an alreadyb known and trusted name by children used by the BBC. 1. Would this be breaking the law? 2. Why does the account holder have to verify wioth password to login or even talk to the ISP about anything but a child can change the T&C without any way to verify it is the account holder? 3. Interception of the browser is illegal so how can Phorm suceed without breaking the law? 4.Websites you visit all have copyright you can visit but are not supposed to copy, proccess for material gain this phorm will do who wil pay the website owners for breaching their copyright? 5. Why will phorm not follow the robots.txt for its own instead of googles? 6. With such as google I can delete cookies and any tracking they are doing is stopped, with phorm it is on my connection so can never turn it off 100% have tot ake the word of one person who has no reputation since he has been hijaking browsers illegally for years would you trust this knowing that?
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