Like Funny Aprons are Like Chefs Who Never Retire

Have you ever noticed that some really good chefs seem to just keep getting better at what they do over time? But how do you know if your favorite chef should be thinking of retirement? Well, taste the stuff that they start to create when they hit the retirement years and you will find that they do create really funny stuff as they grow older.

Like, there was this one cook on a show who chose to use cornmeal in her pineapple upside-down cake – so instead of having a spongy tasty cake for the judges to taste, they got this brick-like concoction that literally fell flat. Not surprisingly that cook was eliminated from the cooking show contest. (Cooks like that need funny aprons to feel better, probably.)

One thing that a chef nearing his retirement might say (and which you should never believe, upon pain of death) is the cliché "how do you know you don't like it when you haven't tried it yet?" If you know a chef who likes to say this and is nearing his retirement, try to ease your way to a side door and beat a quick retreat. It helps if there are a lot of you willing victims in the group – no one will notice you when you escape to a kitchen with a younger chef manning the place. But that cliché does sound good when placed on funny aprons, though, doesn't it? Not exactly really funny stuff, until you taste the chef's concoctions. At times like that, you need to have baking soda stashed somewhere nearby for quick relief.

How do you tell a chef you like but is nearing retirement that it may be time to hang up his chef's hat and choose a hobby instead? That's pretty hard, and no funny aprons can relieve the chef of the pain of being told he is no longer needed or wanted as a chef. Maybe you ought to wait until he nearly chops off his hand with his own butcher knife one day to bring up the subject. Or maybe he could chop off his own hand one day while you're busy doing something else and he brings up the subject himself. Either way, at some point, someone has to tell the chef that he is really getting old and so are the jokes on his funny aprons. That's the bitter pill all chefs have to face at some point.

If your chef doesn't feel like retiring his funny aprons or getting out of the kitchen, you could always head off his creating any really funny stuff as food and just get him to assist you with the minor stuffs. You know, like having him sort out ingredients and slice this and that. No major chopping chores or he'll chop off his own hand (or maybe just a finger or two) which would be disastrous even though there's material for a funny apron there. Good chefs never really retire actually - apparently, they just go into business thinking up really funny stuff to put on funny aprons. And some of them do quite well at that – even if they did manage to chop off a hand back when they were still chefs.