Edward Chupack

America, in a ritual that it undertakes every four years, is about to elect a president. Our choices for the highest office in the land are a man who has done absolutely nothing in two years in the U.S. Senate, Barack Obama, and a man that has done too much for too long in the U.S. Senate, John McCain.

The country and the world are in crisis. Markets are melting like snow cones in the sub-Saharan desert. Unfortunately, neither of the U.S. presidential candidates has a plan to steer the economy out of this crisis. I submit that there is only one person that can effect the change that is needed to get the U.S. and the world off their collective keesters.

So you wants to parley like a pirate, do yee? Thar be certain matters to attend to afore yee can tack about and talk like a proper tar. Some landlubbers ain't suited for the seafaring life. If yee play golf on Sundays, unless yee cheat most grievously, yee will never speak like a salt. soluble, yee ain't fit for any fourmaster. If yee plucks daisies rather than daggers, yee best stay in your cottage and away from the cleats, crossties and c

What do Somalia, Long John Silver and the U.N. have in common? The answer, unfortunately, is confusion.

I have been surprised since writing my novel, "SILVER -- My Own Tale As Told By Me With A Goodly Amount Of Murder", by a particular question that readers have asked and the frequency with which it has been asked. The question assumes different forms, but it is chronic: "What is the difference between pirates and lawyers?"

How do pirates dress for Halloween? They can't strap on a peg leg, prop a plastic parrot on their shoulders, apply an eye patch and wrap a red bandana around their scurvy heads. That's no fun at all -- not for a pirate on Halloween. That would be like we landlubbers wearing a suit to a Halloween bash -- the same suit and "business casual" clothing that we wear to work each day.

So there I was, riding my usual train one day, in my starched white shirt, reading the newspaper and looking out the window, exceedingly happy, when I saw a book that another passenger was reading. The book was "Sliver", but I misread the title and believed that the book's title was "Silver", and immediately envied the author that had come up with the idea of writing the memoirs of Long John Silver. Where could I buy that book?

So you wants to parley like a pirate, do yee? Thar be certain matters to attend to afore yee can tack about and talk like a proper tar. Some landlubbers ain't suited for the seafaring life. If yee play golf on Sundays, unless yee cheat most grievously, yee will never speak like a salt. soluble, yee ain't fit for any fourmaster. If yee plucks daisies rather than daggers, yee best stay in your cottage and away from the cleats, crossties and c

How do pirates dress for Halloween? They can't strap on a peg leg, prop a plastic parrot on their shoulders, apply an eye patch and wrap a red bandana around their scurvy heads. That's no fun at all -- not for a pirate on Halloween. That would be like we landlubbers wearing a suit to a Halloween bash -- the same suit and "business casual" clothing that we wear to work each day.

I have been surprised since writing my novel, "SILVER -- My Own Tale As Told By Me With A Goodly Amount Of Murder", by a particular question that readers have asked and the frequency with which it has been asked. The question assumes different forms, but it is chronic: "What is the difference between pirates and lawyers?"

So there I was, riding my usual train one day, in my starched white shirt, reading the newspaper and looking out the window, exceedingly happy, when I saw a book that another passenger was reading. The book was "Sliver", but I misread the title and believed that the book's title was "Silver", and immediately envied the author that had come up with the idea of writing the memoirs of Long John Silver. Where could I buy that book?

What do Somalia, Long John Silver and the U.N. have in common? The answer, unfortunately, is confusion.

The country and the world are in crisis. Markets are melting like snow cones in the sub-Saharan desert. Unfortunately, neither of the U.S. presidential candidates has a plan to steer the economy out of this crisis. I submit that there is only one person that can effect the change that is needed to get the U.S. and the world off their collective keesters.

America, in a ritual that it undertakes every four years, is about to elect a president. Our choices for the highest office in the land are a man who has done absolutely nothing in two years in the U.S. Senate, Barack Obama, and a man that has done too much for too long in the U.S. Senate, John McCain.

So there I was, riding my usual train one day, in my starched white shirt, reading the newspaper and looking out the window, exceedingly happy, when I saw a book that another passenger was reading. The book was "Sliver", but I misread the title and believed that the book's title was "Silver", and immediately envied the author that had come up with the idea of writing the memoirs of Long John Silver. Where could I buy that book?

So you wants to parley like a pirate, do yee? Thar be certain matters to attend to afore yee can tack about and talk like a proper tar. Some landlubbers ain't suited for the seafaring life. If yee play golf on Sundays, unless yee cheat most grievously, yee will never speak like a salt. soluble, yee ain't fit for any fourmaster. If yee plucks daisies rather than daggers, yee best stay in your cottage and away from the cleats, crossties and c

America, in a ritual that it undertakes every four years, is about to elect a president. Our choices for the highest office in the land are a man who has done absolutely nothing in two years in the U.S. Senate, Barack Obama, and a man that has done too much for too long in the U.S. Senate, John McCain.

How do pirates dress for Halloween? They can't strap on a peg leg, prop a plastic parrot on their shoulders, apply an eye patch and wrap a red bandana around their scurvy heads. That's no fun at all -- not for a pirate on Halloween. That would be like we landlubbers wearing a suit to a Halloween bash -- the same suit and "business casual" clothing that we wear to work each day.

I have been surprised since writing my novel, "SILVER -- My Own Tale As Told By Me With A Goodly Amount Of Murder", by a particular question that readers have asked and the frequency with which it has been asked. The question assumes different forms, but it is chronic: "What is the difference between pirates and lawyers?"

What do Somalia, Long John Silver and the U.N. have in common? The answer, unfortunately, is confusion.

The country and the world are in crisis. Markets are melting like snow cones in the sub-Saharan desert. Unfortunately, neither of the U.S. presidential candidates has a plan to steer the economy out of this crisis. I submit that there is only one person that can effect the change that is needed to get the U.S. and the world off their collective keesters.