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Home Page  Elaine Williams |
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Elaine Williams is a writer, mother of three and a widow of four years who lives in the scenic Catskill Mountains.
When life threw her some curves, she found herself a widow at forty-seven years of age. After some time and much contemplation, she knew that while her story was intensely personal, it needed to be shared with other women.
Elaine is a writer across various genres. She has been published in women’s fiction, but also enjoys writing children’s books, self-help, non-fiction and screenplays. Elaine is a business owner, actively volunteers in her community and also serves on local committees.
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Stress as a Widow's CompanionBeginning a life as a widow was not an easy one for me, and whether you want it or not, it is a new life. Strange, alien, different from anything you have ever known. Many days I resisted any type of change, whether it was physical or emotional. I felt too tired dealing with the day-to-day stresses to think about allowing one more thing to change, no matter how small. Children and GriefI have three boys who were 11, 18 and 19 when their father died from cancer. They all reacted differently to this loss, and many times I felt at a loss myself in trying to determine the best way to help them through their grief. Crafting a New Life, as a WidowWhen you become a widow your life changes and there is no guarantee of sanity in the transition. Some days are topsy-turvy; other days have a numbing calm. You wonder if life will ever be joyful again. You’re not crazy, you’re grieving. When Does Touch Become Critical?When does it become critical that you be touched with love or affection? Does something happen to those of us out of relationships for extended periods of time due to divorce, loss of a spouse or physical separation? Holding Out for Real Romance, What's a Girl to Do?When I became a widow at forty seven years of age, I thought I was pretty savvy about the world. I dealt with my grief on what felt like a long, protracted journey. As I began dating again, after a long absence, I found out I knew little about this sector of society’s structure. A Dream About DyingMy husband was ill ten months with cancer when I had the dream. I had been taking care of his needs for almost eleven months, and even though some days there seemed to be progress, in hindsight I see it was really a steady progression on a downhill curve. Living a Half LifeAfter my husband’s death, I enclosed myself in an emotional shell. A hard cased, untouchable cocoon of nothingness. I wanted to be numb, I wanted to be left alone. Many days my self-imposed prison made me want to be loved by someone. Afraid to Talk About DyingWhen my husband was diagnosed with esophagus cancer, we never talked about him dying, except in the very beginning. I think we were afraid to voice the worst scenario we could think of, him not making it through this disease. Grief and It’s Many FormsGrief and loss come in a multitude of forms. There is grief due to loss of a loved one but there's also the sense of grief related to illness and the impending demise of a loved one. Sometimes you Need to CryI recall a period in time, at about 18 months after my husband passed away, that I felt pretty good about myself. I had handled what life had thrown me and come out battered, but mostly okay on the other side.
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