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Home Page  Gerry McDonnell |
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Gerry McDonnell is a professional odds compiler, journalist and rescuer of small orphans.
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Weekend Tips / a Lazy ‘worst Of’ Compilation‘I did read that a healthy male averages 20 minutes when expressing his love physically; I’m assuming that includes the taxi journey and the queue for the cashpoint.’ Thai Hard: With a Vengeance‘I drunkenly made a move on a waitress when I holidayed in Thailand. I won’t bore you with all the gruesome details, but let’s just say that she wasn’t the only one who received a large tip.’ I’ve Just About Had an Oeuf‘The North East of England is the one place on Earth that’s actually worse than France. The locals are equally as undecipherable, and they take up twice the room’. There Ste Goes Again‘If, like me, your partner is less than pleasing aesthetically, feel free to use my adage to help them feel a little bit better about themselves. ‘Beauty fades, but a solid ironing technique will last forever’. Red Bull – it Gives You Wins‘David Bentley has admitted to being a former gambling addict. ‘Bents’, or to use his more familiar nickname, ‘the vastly overrated David Bentley’ has an addictive personality, and is currently obsessed with DIY. This did not come as a shock.’ Lock Stock and Two Smoking Carols‘It’s now reached the stage where my wife has forced me to choose between her and my collection of adult art; so i’m on the lookout for a new dishwasher.’ My Big Fat Weak Wedding‘If Tottenham do sell Berbatov in the summer, they should move to sign Ashley Cole and Shane Long. I believe Ashley would definitely be interested if Ramos promised to play three up front - especially if they’re Long, Bent and Keane.’ A Mini Weapon of Mass Destruction‘I was quite surprised that Heather Mills received a £24m settlement; I think she must have shown the judge a little leg.’ There’s Life in the Old Dog…unfortunately‘If David Bentley was made of chocolate, he’d probably eat himself. That’s something I would never do - I refuse to queue-jump.’ Hairy Plotter and the Half-blood Prince‘Tim Cahill has been castigated for using a goal celebration to show solidarity with his imprisoned brother. I find the criticism over-the-top, it’s not like he bent over and touched his toes - even I would be offended by the ‘Barton shuffle’.
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