Free Online Articles Directory
Home Page  Gerry McDonnell |
|||||
 |
 
Gerry McDonnell is a professional odds compiler, journalist and rescuer of small orphans.
Sort By: Date | Popularity
 Giant Anteater Devours Small Man‘It takes me a long while to reach the stage where I feel comfortable enough with a partner to move things on to a physical level. When the time does finally arrive, I’m often so overcome with emotion that I’ll gently shed a few tears. Although this may just be a reaction to the mace.’ I’m a Berby Girl…ouch‘Tottenham may be as impotent as Melanie Chisholm’s boyfriend when sobriety arrives, but if they can’t ease past Hull in front of their own supporters they should rename the ground ‘White Flag Lane.’ Hel Bent for Leather‘I definitely wouldn’t have been so obsessed with the dilapidated presenter if the wife had dished out a little more pie. In her defence, she has picked up a nasty rash in an area that makes such behaviour problematic – it’s the most irritating twat since Michel Platini.’ Ade and a Bet‘A number of years ago, Paul McCartney and I swapped partners for a programme that would revolutionise TV. The format was still in its infancy then, so the pilot of ‘Wife-Beater Swap’ was never aired.’ A Cute Little Growler‘Wayne Rooney may have played reasonably well against Croatia in midweek, but that performance is merely papering over the cracks. You can put lipstick on a pig - but you should never marry her in Italy.’ Egg and Chips - Por Favor Grasos‘Capello is a definite personality. He once told Paolo Di Canio that his face looked like a penis. He could say the same about Joey Barton: after all, you are what you eat.’ Squealed With a Kiss‘My bitterness towards America may well be born of my early sexual encounters. I learned about ‘the birds and the bees’ from watching ‘Deliverance’. Whenever I make love, I sound like Jade Goody.’ Shake it on the Chin‘China does have nice areas though, particularly Tibet. Knife crime is practically unheard of over there - but chopstick attacks are through the roof.’ Let Seeping Dogs Lie‘There are no greater perpetrators of mistruths than cartoons. It turns out that a frying pan across the noggin does not lead to a hilarious flattened head that is quickly shaken off. My wife was in a coma for three weeks.’ Weekend Tips / a Lazy ‘worst Of’ Compilation‘I did read that a healthy male averages 20 minutes when expressing his love physically; I’m assuming that includes the taxi journey and the queue for the cashpoint.’
|
 |
|||
|
Article Categories
|
|
||||
|
|
|||||
