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Jane Straus is a trusted life coach, dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Enough Is Enough!: Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. She is a relationship expert for the media, including USA Today, Woman's World, TV networks, and syndicated radio. Visit her site, http://www.JaneStraus.com. She is also the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, http://www.grammarbook.com, an award-winning online resource and workbook with easy-to-understand rules, examples, online quizzes, e-newsletter, and videos on English usage.
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 Struggling to "be Here Now"?Many of you know Ram Dass’s famous book, Be Here Now, the 1971 precursor to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. From the titles of these books, you get the idea that there is something to be gained from focusing on the present rather than being run by our painful past or anxiously awaiting the unknowable future. Easier said than done, perhaps. Decisions, Decisions!Should I take this job or that one? This one offers security but is boring and has little room for advancement; that one offers a chance to grow but carries economic risks.
Should I try to get pregnant now or wait?
Decisions, decisions! We face choices—big and small—constantly. Even the decision between two good things, such as a vacation in the sun or one on the ski slopes, can cause us anxiety. How do we decide how to decide? Three Secrets to Creating an Extraordinary RelationshipWhile love can make us soar to new and giddy heights, it can also bring us to our knees. Love can be difficult, daunting, and more often than we wish, devastatingly painful. Ram Dass, one of my favorite Buddhist teachers who speaks truths with both lightheartedness and great compassion, has said that relationship is the hardest yoga of all. So maybe we shouldn’t think any more highly of a monk meditating on a mountaintop than we do of ourselves for having the courage to struggle with loving another human being. 11 Keys for Getting the Most Out of Relationship CoachingIn a tight economy, the pressures that couples experience intensify. This can put you in a push-pull situation: Already strapped for money, you are faced with the additional prospect of paying for a service that has no guaranteed outcome. Yet you suspect that if you don’t get coaching, your relationship won’t survive. You have to weigh the immediate costs of professional help against the potential costs of a break up. Making the Bed With GratitudeThe other day a client sat tearfully in my office, in pain over something she prefaced as “silly,” dismissing her feelings and herself preemptively with a wave of her hand. But her sobbing didn’t stop simply because her mind was in judgment of her feelings. “Please explain,” I encouraged softly. What Would You Do if You Had No Fear?“What would you do if you had no fear?” This is the intriguing question that my friend, author Diane Conway, posed to people. Their answers inspired her to write a book of the same name. Her question inspires me to stop often during the day to ask this of myself. Even when I don’t realize that I’m fearful, I find the question useful because fear has many symptoms and disguises. The (in)validity of PersonalityDo you have a trait, an addiction, or a disorder that causes you suffering? If you were offered an instant, painless way to stop the OCD, ADD, depression, panic attacks, addiction, angry outbursts, impatience, or shyness, would you want it? What if this treatment could wipe out a particularly traumatic memory for you? Fake it Till You Make It?A friend sent me an e-mail after reading my blog last week about AHAs. In the blog, I shared seven realizations, including: Whatever I judge myself for, others will pick up on it, whether I try to hide it or not. So I may as well stop wasting my energy pretending anything.
She expressed confusion because she is also familiar AA’s philosophy of “Fake it till you make it.” She wondered how I reconcile “faking it” with being genuine. Ahas!I love those rare and often serendipitous moments when I see something in a new way for the first time. I wish that I could plan them but I guess, by definition, an AHA! has to come to us. Perhaps the most we can do to facilitate them is to remain open and not ignore them when they are jumping up and down waving their arms in front of us to pay attention. How Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle Applies to YouEssentially, Heisenberg determined that the mere observation of a particle causes it to then move in an unpredictable manner. I started relating this to us. After all, aren’t we a bundle of particles? Do we, by simply observing ourselves and each other, alter our paths in surprising ways?
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