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Kalman Heller - ArticlesDr. Heller is a clinical psychologist, now retired, who specialized in providing services to children, families, and couples since 1968. He has written over 150 columns about parenting and marriage which are available on his website, http://www.drheller.com. He is a frequent media resoure. Improving the Odds For Successful Second MarriagesDivorce rates have long been overstated. Recent research indicates that for more educated couples who are over 25 when they marry, the rate of divorce is probably only about 30%. Even for those couples who are less educated or younger when they marry, divorce rates are less than 50%. While... Viewing Homework as an Educational LiabilityThe value of homework has been questioned before. In fact there have been periods of time during the past 100 years when homework played a minimal role in schooling. Interestingly, homework, which is believed to improve learning and self-discipline, received two of its strongest promotions from a political concern, "Sputnik",... Gender Bias in Schools RevisitedFifteen years ago, at the height of the focus on the alleged gender bias against girls in our educational system, I wrote an article for a professional newsletter that argued it was actually the other way around. Boys were at least equally disadvantaged in the classroom, if not more so.... The Complexity of Stepfamily MarriageIt is estimated that stepfamilies will be the majority of family types early in the 21st century. This means most families will have the experience of being built from losses and of having a mixture of biologically related and non-biologically related members. It often means serious conflicts from past relationships... Where Have All the Bicycles Gone?Childhood has moved indoors. What a shame. Children are meant to be running free in open spaces, climbing trees, finding frogs and turtles, biking to the playground, and being hard to find at dinnertime. Today's child is most likely to be found sitting in front of a screen - TV,... When Grandma is Going to Die: What to Tell the ChildrenIn recent weeks two mothers asked for advice on assisting their children through the impending deaths of a grandparent. The children ranged in age from 3 to 9. This is one of the most difficult issues for parents to deal with because of the combination of our culture's discomfort with... When Grandma DiesExplaining death involves two issues. What is it, literally, and what happens to the person when she dies. The former question is best answered in a simple and honest manner - grandma's heart had grown too weak to enable her to breathe, to see, think, or walk. With young children... The Myth Of The High Rate Of DivorceThis past year my wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary. It is the second marriage for both of us and the relationship has only grown stronger over the years, teaching me more about love and trust and dependence then I ever imagined. Reaching this special "silver moment" spurred me... Holiday Gifts, Social Influences, And Parental ValuesA few months ago I was watching public TV's annual drive to raise money. One of the primary offers for your pledge was a video of the "Doo Wop" music of the '50s and early '60s. In addition to playing many of my favorite songs they showed old media news... Preserving Identity In StepfamiliesOne of the primary issues that makes life in a stepfamily so challenging is that each person belongs to more than one family constellation: there are biological connections and those created through re-marriage. A 9 y.o. girl who lives with her divorced mother and visits her re-married father whose new...
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