Leslie Cane

I heard from a wife who said: "last night, my husband followed me to our bedroom after I put our kids to bed. He said that he had something important to discuss with me. He very calmly told me that he had decided that he no longer wanted to be married. He said that our marriage was no longer working for him because he felt stuck, tied down, and unhappy."

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband told me two weeks ago that he wants a separation. I have tried to do everything in my power to talk him out of it. But nothing has worked. At this point, it appears to me that the separation is actually going to happen. So I need to know the best way to react and to behave.

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband and I have been fighting really badly for the past six months. The other day, we are arguing and I said something like: 'I don't know why you're so upset. You don't even care about me anymore anyway. You don't even love me anymore.' And he quickly replied 'I do still love you, but I wish I didn't.' This shocked me on a couple of levels. First, I was shocked that he insisted that he still loves me. But I don't get why he would say that he wish he didn't."

I heard from a wife who said: "about three months ago, my husband told me that he was no longer sure about our marriage. I asked him what this meant and what he intended to do. He said that he wasn't sure. He said he just needed some time to think about things and then he would let me know when he had come to a decision. Well, that has been months ago.

heard from a wife who said: "my husband and I are very good friends with our next door neighbors. He hangs out with the husband next door and I hang out with the wife. Well, my friend called me yesterday morning and told me that my husband had told her husband that he was no longer in love with me."

I heard from a wife who said: "I will be honest and tell you that I never wanted a trial separation. But my husband insisted. He said he had to see for himself if would have been happier on his own and he also said he needed some space to sort his feelings out. So I decided to respect this request and support him. He assured me that he would be in touch semi regularly and that I didn't have anything to worry about. Well, this hasn't been the case. He's not called me once since he left."

I heard from a wife who said: "our marriage hasn't been good for a couple of years. My husband has become sullen, sarcastic, and even mean spirited at times. And recently, I've suggested that we separate for a while. My husband didn't take this well. He said he thinks that a separation is too drastic. He said that if I push this and he moves out or we separate, then he's never coming back. So he's pushing me to decide right now what I want to do about our marriage."

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband told me a few weeks ago that he intends to move out. We have not been getting along with one another for months. We have actually tried different things in an attempt to improve our marriage but, in the end, we just end up fighting or feeling frustrated. It just seems as if things deteriorate more. So now his theory is that if he moves us and gives us both some time to cool off that this is going to help us and our marriage."

I heard from a wife who said, "my husband has obviously been a little unhappy with our marriage for a while. He would always make sarcastic comments about not getting enough of my attention and not having enough "alone" time together. Well, last week he left me. He left a note saying that he doesn't know what he has to go to get my attention and to make me realize that he has needs too. I am so annoyed at this. I don't know how to respond. I don't want to reward him for his immaturity."

I heard from a wife who expressed it this way. "My husband initiated a separation. I fought him every step of the way, but he insisted and didn't give me much of a choice. He said that he needed time to think and to evaluate what he wanted out of his life. Well, now he's taking all this selfish time to find himself while I am having to handle all of the household chores and raising the children myself. I want him to regret being so selfish and just leaving us for his own self centered reasons."