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The 5 Best Fictional Lorries

The world of haulage and lorry driving has never been seen as the most glamorous, despite there being some truly memorable lorries in the world of film and television. Here are 5 of my favourites...

5. Mack (Cars)

No doubt "Cars" was one of Disney-Pixar's more forgettable animated films, but Mack - a 1980s Superliner who transports Lighting McQueen in the film - just about sneaks into the list for being voiced by the legendary John Ratzenberger.

Ratzenberger, who played the longwinded mailman Cliff Clavin on Cheers, has appeared in all the Pixar animated films and is considered something of a good luck charm for the studio. They mocked this in the closing credits for Cars, when Mack the lorry watches car-themed versions of Pixar Movies praising Ratzenberger's characters in ever one - until he realises they're all played by the same actor: "What kind of a cut rate production is this? They're just using the same actor over and over again!"

4. Creeper's Truck (Jeepers Creepers

Jeepers Creepers, the 2001 horror film, had a truly memorable truck in it, though more memorable for the lorry driver: the Creeper himself. Driving an armoured lorry, the creeper turns out to be an ancient demon that rises every 23rd spring for 23 days to feast on humans to form part of its own body. Despite being made up of bits of dead bodies, our villain is rather handy with his 1941 Chevy COE which he uses to transport the bodies of his victims. Nice!

3. Rhino (MASK)

M.A.S.K, for the uninitiated, was a 1980s kids' cartoon series and best described as a hybrid of Transformers and G.I. Joe. In total 75 episodes were created between 1985 and 1986. The relevance to this list? Rhino - surely one of the finest lorries ever to grace our television sets. This lorry was piloted by Bruce Sato, Alex Sector and Matt Tracker at various points in the show and was armed with anti-gravity cannons, a battering ram, a missile launcher and a separate little car that could slip out of the back.

Aside from its awesome vehicles and 80s vibe, MASK is most memorable now for its contrived use of acronyms. The good guys were M.A.S.K - which stood for Mobile Armored Strike Kommand, while the baddies organisation (such as it was!) was known as V.E.N.O.M - Vicious Evil Network of Mayhem.

2. Snowman's Truck (Smokey and the Bandit)

You can't have a list of excellent lorry drivers without referring to 1977's Smokey and the Bandit. The classic tale tells of rich Texans offering Bo "Bandit" Darville (Burt Reynolds) $80,000 to haul 400 cases of Coors beer from Texarkana, Texas to the Southern Classic stock car race in Georgia in 28 hours. A contrived plot sees plenty of action looking to sabotage the plans but despite this, Bandit and his accomplice Cledus "Snowman" Snow (Jerry Reed) manage to get the cargo safely to its destination in Snowman's Kenworth W900.

Nowadays with the improved road network, managing the journey in 28 hours would be a cinch. In those days however, it would have been very impressive for a lorry driver and well worthy of the $80,000 bounty (which would translate to roughly $270,000 in today's money - and would neatly negate the need for a money-spinning backload!)

1. Optimus Prime (Transformers)

As if there was any doubt, Optimus Prime is of course THE most memorable lorry. Because he's not just any old lorry - he's a robot in disguise! Leader of the Autobots, and without a doubt the best known character from Transformers, he was equipped with everything a robot in disguise would need, including a laser rifle, various additional weapons in the trailer, a radio antenna for battlefield communication and a mobile scout buggy for reconnaissance - perfect for delivering backloads, should he have time in his busy schedule. Many people who remember Optimus Prime for his deep booming voice should look away now when I reveal that Peter Cullen, the man who voiced him, was also responsible for the voice of Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh!

Lyall Cresswell
Lyall Cresswell is the Managing Director for the Transport Exchange Group. Haulage Exchange, their freight exchange for the 7.5 tonne and above market, offers an independent environment for its members to find that next backload.
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