When to Throw a Baby Shower - Mystery Solved!

All your friends see you as a model of maturity and kindness - obviously. That's why you volunteered to throw a baby shower for someone dear to you, right?

The only trick is, this might be your very first time hosting one. If so, then first among your questions is probably when the heck to schedule it.

"Parties with a purpose," like baby showers, tend to come with pretty clear rules - but this one's a little more complex. So while we can't give you a one-size-fits-all answer for every mom and situation, we can guide you through the factors that will help you find the right answer for this party ... and this mom.

Nixing The Surprise Factor

It's so tempting to lavish a fabulous surprise on a close friend - I love dishing out stuff like this (even though I don't like being on the receiving end so much - ha!). But unless you happen to know mom's life and schedule with uncanny precision, then picking a date's like trying to roll out homemade pasta with just one hand.

So resist the temptation to go cloak and dagger if you possibly can - it's almost always better to confer directly with mom. When you do, here's what to ask and ponder.

Setting a Spot in the Third Trimester

Sometime in the third trimester's when almost every mom has her shower, excepting those who choose to have a little party after the baby's born. But this leaves a lot of leeway in terms of timing, so here's how to narrow it down.

• Is Mom Carrying Twins or Multiples?

Then by all means, schedule a little early, so Mom won't be too weighed down and uncomfortable to enjoy all the fun.

• Does Mom Have a History With Premies?

Then she's probably a little nervous about another premature birth. You can at least take her mind off one thing by having the party early, so the pint-sized guest of honor doesn't show up during the festivities!

• Does Mom Know the Baby's Gender?

After about 16 weeks, a lot of couples will know - at least if they choose to. If so, this is awesome information to disseminate, even through the color you've chosen for those baby shower invitations. Along the same lines, if the parents know the gender, they might also be settling on some special nursery decor. This is a fun and thoughtful detail you could work up into a shower theme.

• What About the Fam?

In many cases, there's some kind of major holiday near Mom's due date that allows more out-of-town family members to attend. Check with Mom to see if there's a chance to gather the tribe at the party.

To Wrap It Up

Plenty of showers take place only a month before the due date. This makes the birth immediate enough to add a big dose of appreciation to the proceedings: the parents are starting to calculate exactly how many diapers they'll need (a staggering number).

But if any of the above factors apply, or Mom really depends on the shower proceeds and need some time to manage exchanges before the due date, then push it back a bit.

In the end, your Mom-to-be will appreciate just how much thoughtfulness you brought to this classic act of love and affection: the hosting of a baby shower for a dear friend.