3 Golden Keys To Getting Your Ex Back

Posted: Sep 03, 2010 |Comments: 0 | Views: 114 |

You're losing your ex: day by day you feel them slipping away, getting further and further from the loving, caring person you once dated.  Your ex is cold, clinical, and unresponsive to your efforts at getting back together again.  So is it finally over?

Well for starters, no relationship is over until both parties have moved on.  While your ex boyfriend or girlfriend still feels emotionally bonded to you, there's always a way to put yourself back in their heart again.

Your breakup will be over the moment your ex wants you back.  You can't talk your way back into the relationship, and you can't apply logic to such an emotional situation.  But if you can dig out those pre-existing feelings and emotions that your ex still has for you?  You can use those same feelings to make your ex see what they stand to lose by continuing on with the breakup.

Key Move #1: Withdrawal

Your ex still has feelings for you, and here's why: the supercharged emotional bonds you built while dating each other?  They didn't just fall apart overnight, the second your ex decided to break things off.  These bonds take months or even years to fully dissolve away, leaving last impressions and heartfelt feelings for each other even when you might be apart.

Know those pangs of regret and fear you feel in the pit of your stomach when you think about being without your boyfriend or girlfriend?  Your ex would feel the same scary feelings if you were to give them something to be afraid of.  If your ex realized he or she could actually lose you, they wouldn't be so strong about continuing the breakup.


To shake their confidence, you need to withdraw completely and totally from your ex's life.  Right now you're probably still hanging around trying very hard to get your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend to go back out with you.  While you do this, your ex feels comfortable and in superior position.  But once you disappear from sight?  Once your ex is no longer sure you'd still take them back?  Suddenly they feel the same rejection that you do, and they have to consider - for the first time ever - what life would be like without you in it.

Key Move #2: Forward Progress

Think your ex stopped checking up on you after they broke things off?  Better think again.  Every exboyfriend or exgirlfriend ends up looking back to see how the other person is doing, whether directly or indirectly (through friends, coworkers, social networks, etc...)

If your ex sees you clutching a box of tissues and waiting anxiously by the phone, it ratifies their decision to break up with you.  You become a needy and desperate person that they're better off without, and they'll feel justified in looking for someone else to date - preferably someone who has their life together.

But what if your ex looked back and saw you smiling, laughing, and having a good time?  What if you were out with friends, doing what you love, and maybe even meeting other people?  Confidence... independence... charisma... these things are what attracted your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to you in the first place.  By moving foward with your social life and NOT mouring your breakup, you become a hell of a lot more attractive to your ex once again.

Key Move #3: Work Outwardly as Well as Inwardly

After an unwanted breakup, one thing you can immediately begin working on is yourself.  How you look, feel, and act is an incredibly important part of getting your ex to want you again, and if there's room for improvement you should certainly take advantage of this time.

Joining a gym and exercising is a great way of getting rid of stress.  You can shed emotional baggage while you shed pounds on the treadmill.  Just being alone for 45 minutes at a clip can help you work a lot of things out in your head.  You'll look better and feel better, and mentally you'll clear your mind.  Getting your boyfriend or girlfriend back requires a level head and some clear thinking, so everything you do here is geared toward that goal.

The above moves are only some of the positive actions you can take when you're trying to reverse your breakup.  There are lots of key tips and tricks to fixing your relationship, including when and how to reconnect with your ex after you've withdrawn and broken contact.

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