5 Emotional Levels Of A Relationship Breakup
Most of us would never think that the end of a relationship could cause the same kind of emotional pain as a death, but the two are very similar in the ways it takes to get through them. There are distinct emotional levels of a relationship breakup. They don't always happen in the same order, and you can often move on to the next level and the next day find yourself back at the level you were before. It's a very up and down time emotionally. Learning what the levels are and that they are normal can help you deal with this rough time in your life a little easier.
Here are the Levels:
1.) Pain. When you are confronted with the situation that this person who you have shared so much of your life, and yourself, with doesn't want you anymore it can cause unbelievable pain and heartache. This pain will go up and down during the whole break up. Some days will be worse than others. One important thing to remember that this is completely normal but you will get through it and the pain will easier to deal with as time goes by. It may seem hard now but it will get better.
2.) Denial. Most of us just can't really believe that someone who they've shared so much with really doesn't want us anymore. It's very hard to hold on to the idea that this person could walk away from such a good bond. You tell yourself that they are just going through a stage and that they will get back on track soon. The truth is they may, or they may not.
You really don't know how long they have been thinking about ending the relationship. They may have already worked through their levels of the break up before they even said a word to you about breaking up and ending the relationship.
3.) Anger. When you have gotten over the initial shock and you realize that this is really going to happen you will more than likely get mad, very mad. You may say something like, how dare they treat me like this after everything I've done for them. They will never find anyone as good as me. These are common thoughts when going through this level of the break up. You're mad at them, at yourself, and if there was someone else involved in the breakup you're really mad at them too. This anger is a way to help you get the closure you need so that you can move forward and get on with your life.
Many times this can be the most dangerous level of all. This is the level where people will do, or say, crazy things that they will be sorry for later. This is the level where you have to be very careful to not let your anger get in the way of your good judgment. Also guard against your anger turning into bitterness, if you get bitter you will have a hard time ever finding happiness again. I know it is easier said than done but you have to let it go.
4.) Grief. You will grieve for the loss of the love and friendship you once shared with your ex. This is the same as the grief you would have if someone close to you has died. Again, this is a totally normal level in the break up process.
5.) Acceptance. Now finally, you can move on. You are finally to the point where you actually believe that you can be happy again. You realize that no matter what happened in the break up you are a good person who is more than capable of giving and receiving love and you are ready to start looking to do just that.
The emotional levels of a relationship breakup are inevitable. We all go through them. There is no set time limit, or order, but just remember that all of these feelings are totally normal and that going through the stages is actually helping you cleanse yourself of this emotional baggage so you can find love again with or without your ex.
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