Get Your Ex Back - Why Your Own Perspective May Be Killing Your Chances Of Winning Your Ex Back

Posted: Mar 31, 2010 |Comments: 0 |

The funny thing about the world is that each one of us only sees it through one set of eyes: our own. Our opinions and the way we react to them are all based on how we perceive the world. We see things from only one perspective. My world revolves around me. Your world revolves around you. I see things you don't see and vice versa. That's just the way it is. If you want to get your ex back after a breakup, you need to step outside yourself and reverse the situation.

What do I mean by reverse the situation? In order for you to get back together with your ex, you need to understand what went wrong and why it went wrong. One way to understand a breakup better is to reverse the situation and look at things from a different perspective: that of your ex's. Step into their shoes for a minute and take a look at the world around you. Does it look the same? Would you react the same way if you were them? If you were your ex would you look forward to spending time together or treat the situation the same way? Would the way you're acting and the things you've done be acceptable to you? If you really want to understand your ex and figure out exactly what they are thinking so you can work on getting your ex back, then step into their shoes and wear them around for a little while.

To clarify what I mean, let's look at an example. Ryan is dating Kristy. One night Kristy says to Ryan, "Hey babe, I'm going out with some friends. I'll be home around 10." Ryan has his own plans to go play some basketball with his buddies so he replies with, "Great! Have fun hun." Kristy goes out. Ryan goes to play basketball with the boys. He finishes several games, comes home, and sits down to watch a little television.

The clock hits 10 and Kristy isn't home yet. Ryan thinks, "She's just a little late. No biggie." An hour later, 10 turns into 11 and still no Kristy. Ryan gives her a call to see what's up, but no answer. Ryan is a little bit jealous in general, but he usually keeps it in check. A little while later, 11:30 rolls around and still no Kristy. Ryan starts to worry a little, but starts becoming more angry than anything. All he can picture in his head is Kristy hanging out with her long-time friend Tom who happens to be attracted to her and always kind of flirts with her even though they've always just been friends.

Ryan starts hypothesizing that she's ignoring his calls and texts on purpose, not realizing her cell phone had died cause she forgot to charge it the night before. The fact that there could be a perfectly good explanation doesn't even cross his mind. At midnight Kristy finally walks in the door happy and smiling cause she had a great night out with friends. She starts to apologize for being late and not calling, but Ryan flips out the minute she steps inside. He yells. He screams. He makes assumptions and accusations. He doesn't even wait for an explanation. It's a huge fight and Kristy leaves to stay at a girl friend's house for the night. She's had enough. She's done with the relationship.

Sound familiar?

This example is all too common in relationships. If you want to get your ex back and keep them, you need to start wearing their shoes. How would you feel if you were late coming home and had a perfectly good explanation? Would you want your boyfriend or girlfriend to fly off the handle? Would you want to be treated the same way you treat your ex? Would you say and do the same things you're doing now? If you wouldn't appreciate your ex treating you the same way or reacting the same way you do, then don't treat them that way. It's amazing how many fights can be prevented if you just stop for a second and put yourself in their place.

To get back together with your ex, you need to understand where they are coming from and why they do the things they do. You may not always agree or feel the same way they do, but at least you can understand where they are coming from if you wear their shoes for a minute. Simply understanding can relieve a whole lot of tension in any relationship.

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