He Says His Feelings For Me Are Gone. What Now?
I often hear from wives or girlfriends who tell me that their husband or boyfriend is telling them that his feelings for them are gone. I often hear comments like "my husband told me that he no longer has any feelings for me." Or "my boyfriend says that his romantic feelings have long gone." Sometimes the women involved doubt this. Often, the man in question is acting counter to his claims. Other times, the woman is confused as to how he can seemingly turn on and off his feelings like a water faucet. How can someone with so much invested and who was such a willing participant turn his back?
In the following article, I'll discuss some considerations you may want to look at in this scenario as well as some tips for how to deal with it, especially if your own feelings are still very much there and you don't want to let him go.
The Determination As To Whether His Feelings Are Gone Or Not Often Takes Some Time And You Don't Want To Make Things Worse By Panicking: I understand how horrible it feels when he tells you his feelings for you are gone. You can feel as if you want to change this situation almost immediately. It feels awful and foreign to be in this place and you want to make things better yesterday.
One way that people will sometimes do this is to try to argue the point or "prove" to the husband or boyfriend that he still loves them. They will often try to watch for inconsistencies in his behavior or act in desperate ways to change his mind. In my opinion and experience, this method does not have as high of a success rate as some others that require you to act in a more deliberate and controlled way. I know it's difficult to have and carry out a plan or strategy, but sometimes you will get more success this way.
Yes, sometimes men say their feelings are gone when they really are not. Sometimes, they say this because they believe they want or need a break and they know if they play the feeling card, you are less likely to have any counter to this. Other times, they are trying to press your buttons or hurt you. And sometimes, there is something else going on in their life that leads them to think their feelings are gone when they really are not. In other words, they project their frustrations from other areas onto their life onto you because you are likely the closest person to them and are convenient.
This is unfair and unfortunate. But rather than point this out or argue, you will often put yourself in a better position if you attempt to place the situation (and yourself) in the best light. Once you do this, gradually and over time, your husband or boyfriend may come to realize this. And when he does, you haven't alienated yourself or made the situation worse.
Getting His Feelings For You Back: You likely think that getting his feelings back should be your first priority. And, it is a high priority, but it's not the only consideration. Because frankly, feelings follow along and go hand and hand with the health of your relationship and what else is happening in your life. If you argue and alienate yourself, your chances of him feelings anything positive for you are greatly lessened.
To paint yourself in the best light and to give yourself more access to him, you want to portray yourself as the person who is on his side and who has his back. If you continue to dwell on the feelings, he might back away because the whole thing is just too uncomfortable. So instead, you want to project yourself as the person who just wants him to be happy. You can see he's struggling and approaching some changes in his life, and you have his back.
It can be important that rather than stressing how unfair or inaccurate this is or why he should change his mind, you stress that you care enough about him to not make his load more heavy and you just want to maintain the relationship no matter what form it might take. Sure, it may be painful as you pretend you're OK with these changes.
But what you are doing is buying yourself time. You're gaining access. You're hoping to still be there when he comes to his senses and realizes he's been projecting and taking you for granted. These methods may not always work, but they work plenty of the time. And at the very least, they paint you in the best light possible so that you will know that you handled yourself with dignity and didn't do anything to make the situation worse. These things will often make your situation better and will show your husband or boyfriend the loving woman that he remembers and fell in love with in the first place.
How did I learn this? Through making a lot of mistakes (which almost cost me my marriage) when I was trying to make my own husband fall back in love with me. Eventually, I was able to restore my husband's love and not only save the marriage, but make it stronger. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/.
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A lot of people encounter precisely the same as well as frequently find themselves saying "what can I say to get my ex-boyfriend back"? You may perhaps have gone astray, feeling alone as well as still anxious as you attempt to imagine what to say or what you can execute that is going to bring your ex-boyfriend back to you again.
Most women can feel if there is a change in the attitude of their boyfriend toward their relationship. Some will panic when he seems to be preoccupied or does not seem as attentive as he once was. Other women will just ignore the signs. This can work both ways. If you confront him it could cause a big argument and end in a breakup. But ignoring a problem will not make it go away either.
You are thinking how to get back together with your ex boyfriend. If this is what you are wondering it is clear that you still love your ex boyfriend. Relationships don't all the time go how we propose and at times we find ourselves broken up with someone we actually love. You have in actual fact got one opportunity to get your ex boyfriend back. If you miss this chance he may simply back off so far that any possibility to get him back is going to disappear for good.
Your ex boyfriend hasn't called. You have waited for a long time and still no call from your ex boyfriend till this moment. No emails or text messages also. It appears your ex boyfriend is gone silent and you fear more and more with each day that passes it indicates that your ex boyfriend is left you in the past and moved on. That is not essentially the issue...
I recently received correspondence from a wife who told me that she was afraid that she losing feelings of love for her husband. She specifically said that she no longer felt "connected" or "intimate" with him and she suspected that he felt the same way. They weren't being ugly to one another or fighting or anything like that. But, they were just sort of coexisting without the feeling of togetherness that they used to enjoy. The wife missed their connection.
The breakup was bad, but now that you have settled down you are wondering how you can get your ex boyfriend back. With these vital tips betting your ex back can be easy.
Does your ex however have emotions towards you? Following a split, it may be tough to know. In one instance you may find out your ex becoming flirty and loving and also the following instance he/she won't even grant you an opportunity to devote time with them.
When you have lost the man you love, you miss him and long to have him back. You think if you could only make him feel the way you are feeling, he will come running back. Learn how easy you can make this happen.
If you have recently gone through a bad break up it is natural to want to text your ex back especially if you discover that you still have feelings for her. It is necessary though that you make sure that you do not communicate with her in a way that will scare her away or you will end up suffering the consequences of losing her for good.
However justified you feel in arguing in your relationships, it will not solve your problems or bring you closer to your man. Arguing in relationships will only stop when you stop blaming and start to take responsibility for how you feel. Bring back the peace and harmony in your life and relationships with this advice.
I heard from a wife who said: "last night, my husband followed me to our bedroom after I put our kids to bed. He said that he had something important to discuss with me. He very calmly told me that he had decided that he no longer wanted to be married. He said that our marriage was no longer working for him because he felt stuck, tied down, and unhappy."
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband told me two weeks ago that he wants a separation. I have tried to do everything in my power to talk him out of it. But nothing has worked. At this point, it appears to me that the separation is actually going to happen. So I need to know the best way to react and to behave.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband and I have been fighting really badly for the past six months. The other day, we are arguing and I said something like: 'I don't know why you're so upset. You don't even care about me anymore anyway. You don't even love me anymore.' And he quickly replied 'I do still love you, but I wish I didn't.' This shocked me on a couple of levels. First, I was shocked that he insisted that he still loves me. But I don't get why he would say that he wish he didn't."
I heard from a wife who said: "about three months ago, my husband told me that he was no longer sure about our marriage. I asked him what this meant and what he intended to do. He said that he wasn't sure. He said he just needed some time to think about things and then he would let me know when he had come to a decision. Well, that has been months ago.
heard from a wife who said: "my husband and I are very good friends with our next door neighbors. He hangs out with the husband next door and I hang out with the wife. Well, my friend called me yesterday morning and told me that my husband had told her husband that he was no longer in love with me."
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