Jackie Evans writes and talks about relationship issues, you can find out more about relationship issues at her website
It is only natural if you have been on your own, after a relationship break up, for a few weeks to wake up one morning with the burning thought in your mind of "I want my ex back!". Don't worry; this is a very normal reaction if you are still, deep down, in love with your ex. It is also completely normal to have no real idea of how you are going to go about getting them back. This is the point at which you start looking around for help to stop yourself making a complete mess of your attempt to win them back.
OK so the key thing is to stop right there. First of all, before you go off trying to get your ex back, be sure that you are not going through the natural grieving process that happens to everyone at the end of a relationship. At the end of most relationships there is a period when the hurt and feelings of loss are so intense that it is akin to the grieving process when a loved one passes away. During this process it is very natural to have the feeling "I want my ex back!" and for that feeling to be all consuming. This is because you are grieving and missing all the dreams and hopes you had, that were wrapped up in your ex love and your ex relationship. It is important to ensure you are not going through this process before you attempt to get them back.
If you know that it is not just natural grieving then you are now ready to make good on your thoughts that "I want my ex back!", your next move should always be to figure and work out what actually went wrong. This is a very important step, because unless you take the time to go over the mistakes that you might have made, then getting back with your ex will only eventually lead to the same break down in the relationship as before and that will do neither of you any good - they key is to own and admit, even to yourself, your mistakes and anything that you might have done wrong to contribute to the breakdown of the relationship.
It is imperative that you remember not to focus on what you believe your ex might have done wrong. Let them be and take care of their own stuff for now and you take care of your own, there should be plenty of time in the future for the two of you to work around the collective causes, but for now, just focus on your own issues and mistakes.
So if you are absolutely 100% clear that "I want my ex back!" then this is just the start, and a good place for you to start taking the steps that you need to take to get back with your ex and to secure a future for the two of you that will not suffer the same fate and encounter the same mistakes and pitfalls as before.
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