I want my ex girlfriend back – 5 decisions you can make that will bring her back

You've made a decision. "I want my ex girlfriend back" is going through your mind constantly. You really do want her back.

But where do you start? Seems monumental, yes? No. And I mean no. Having had a string of bizarre and strange breakups in my life, and having won the "Weirdest Divorce in the World" award, I can speak to this. It's not difficult, it just takes some methodical, clear thinking, and the ability to do one thing: to make a decision.

You've already done that. "My ex girlfriend back" is still echoing in your head. So let me show you five more decisions you need to make to heal this relationship and get her to put her hand in yours again.

1. Accept what has happened. Denial does you no good. It took me nineteen years of denial before I realize something was really wrong with my marriage. Dude, do not waste half your life. When you accept what has happened between you two, you can then come up with a clear plan to get her back. Always start from acceptance.
2. Kill your ego. I mean it. Wrassle that big trouble maker to the ground and show it who's in charge. It's the "ego" part of you that blames, whines, yells, argues, and spews bile on every relationship you have. Can you have a nice relationship with someone if you always have to be right? If you're a bit too controlling? If you don't trust? Don't think so, chum. This is about humbling yourself, and yet not. A nice relationship is about give and take, about caring for each other, about doing things for each other with no thought of return. It can take a while to find this balance, but if I could find it with my ex husband after the judge said "this is the weirdest divorce I've ever seen," than you can find it too. So go for it, bubba. Keep the ego out of the relationship.
3. Take responsibility for your part in the breakup. Sometimes a breakup is because of only one party. But I'm willing to bet that most breakups, both partners had some fault. Stop and take stock. Think carefully. What did you do that was not very nice? Did you yell at her in front of people? Did you spend more time with your buddies or computer games than with her? Did you criticize and not compliment? Now I'm not dissing you. No way. But if you look carefully, there's usually something you might have done that made it worse. Say to yourself, "If I want my ex girlfriend back, I'd better be willing to take responsibility for my actions." Say that to yourself everyday like a prayer. Now don't take responsibility for what she did that was not nice, just take responsibility for your own actions.
4. Apologize if it seems appropriate. In some very strange circumstances, apologizing might make it worse. You have to analyze your own personal situation. Do you owe her an apology? If so, what's the best way to deliver that apology? Write her a letter. Yes, a letter in the snail mail, not email. A snail mail letter will show her you're sincere. Now here's the trick: apologize about something specific. Don't just say "I'm sorry I was such a jerk." She'll just agree with you and throw the letter out. Instead, go back over those things you might have done that were not so nice. Apologize for those things. Tell her you realize you were wrong. Just apologize. Don't beg to be taken back, don't whine. Just say you're sorry, and tell her if she wants to talk you'd love to do that. Give her the apology, give her the opening, and you might just be surprised.
5. Above all: treat her with respect. Every person, whether it's your girlfriend or your mom, deserves two things from you: respect and kindness. Every person is a unique individual that should be respected for who they are, not for who you want them to be. If you want someone, if you love someone, give them the big R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

That's it. Five decisions. Think about them. Chew on them. Decide what you're going to do. And do it.