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If you are saying to yourself: I’m still in love, my ex isn’t. This can be a very difficult time.
Let me begin by saying, you are not 100% certain that your ex is not still in love with you, too. Your ex may have said he/she does not love you anymore, and that may very well be possible.
However, it’s also possible that he or she may just be saying that and not know or perhaps confused that he/she still has feelings for you. It is a fact that many couples who still love each other end their relationship for other reasons - reasons that are not always clear to even themselves.
If you are completely honest with yourself and can admit out loud: "I'm still in love with my ex", then it is highly possible there's an excellent chance your ex might still love you. But keep in mind that doesn't necessarily mean that you should get back together.
Did you forget that you broke up for a reason? Even if it wasn't your desire to break up and the break-up was suggested by your ex, you need to really think long and hard about things.
Perhaps the break-up was for the best. Has that ever crossed your mind?
You're probably not going to see this in the midst of the pain that you're feeling but as time goes by you may even agree that the break-up was good for you.
If the break-up was something that you both decided upon and now you're struggling inside because you feel: "I'm still in love, my ex should be here with me", then I would suggest that you take a look at why you made a decision to go through the break-up.
Yes, there is a slight chance that your decision was a mistake. That said, if you take a long, hard look at the reasons you had for ending the relationship, you may agree that it's probably the best thing to have feelings for your ex from a distance and heal from the sad feelings instead of trying to start up the relationship again.
Okay, so you're probably reading this and saying:"I'm still in love; my ex even wants to get back together." I'm sure this may have you feeling very hopeful deep inside at the possibility of the two of you working this out and living happily ever after, right?
I don't mean to rain on your parade by what I'm about to say. But, don't for one minute think that it's going to be a piece of cake. It won't be easy at all because it's not like the reasons you broke up have disappeared.
Ask yourself what will be different if you rush back into getting together? Things may be like a wonderful fairy tale in the beginning of your getting back together due to the fact that you're both so very happy to be a couple again.
But chances are, it won't last if you don't get to the root of problems and fix things in the relationship. Trust me. I speak from experience. I've been right where you are and remember the events as if it happened yesterday.
If you ended things initially with the thought, "I'm still in love with my ex." And he or she is saying and feeling the same thing so you decide to get back together, this is what will more or less take place.
You will find yourselves experiencing a honeymoon period as you did when you first start going out with each other. And you will very likely have the idea that you saved the relationship and prevented each other from making the worst mistake ever.
But you know what? That happy feeling of being on a honeymoon will eventually wear off if you don't get real and face the underlying issues that hurt your relationship. Do you know how you will fix things if/when this were to happen?
What are the steps you are going to take to stave off the nagging problems that caused you to break up in the first place?
What actions are you going to implement to keep them from slipping back into your relationship and making you want to end things again?
There is good news: you can give couples counseling a try. This couldn't hurt and it may just be what you need, especially if you are still thinking: "I'm still in love my ex and want him or her back."
I would suggest that in this case that you find the number to a reputable counselor who can be neutral in this situation in order to prevent old issues from breaking you up again later on down the road.
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