Is my troubled relationship worth fixing?
You are the only one who can answer that, but to get to that answer you need to know what to look for.
The length of your relationship has some bearing on what will ultimately happen to it ... for it is the strength of the bond that has grown between the two of you that will monitor the success of the relationship. Naturally ... a longer relationship has had more time to strengthen that bond.
However there are many long term relationships that have only reinforced a habit... rather than formed a bond.
There is a huge difference between a habit and a true bond between two people.
How can you know if it is a bond or a habit?
Simple.
Are your days and nights filled with an ache inside that is all consuming... to the point where you have to force yourself out of bed in the morning to get to work?
Do you find yourself saying no to every invitation out, even at lunch at work?. Is just the thought of going to visit your own parents too much to even consider?
Do you find yourself turning on the TV then turning it off again at the first sound of a couple on a show.. doing anything....turning on the radio just to turn it off again at the first sound of music that threatens a "flashback"?
Is the thought of her never far from your conscious thoughts ... every waking minute .... to the point you can hardly absorb what happened in your life the past hour?
Do you find yourself physically giving yourself a shake as though to shake yourself out of this nightmare .... and all you want to do is be able to throw the weight of it off you shoulders.... to be free of it.. but.. .. you cannot?
Those are signs of a true bonded relationship.
Do you find yourself missing going out to dinner with her... having her do your laundry?
Do you miss the comfort of knowing you will have someone to run in the park with...to go to that new movie with?
Are you kind of anxious to get her stuff out of your bathroom.... those shoes of hers out of the mudroom?
Is the thought of having your space in the closet back rather nice.... yet.... you ache at the thought of being alone on the weekends?
Does the thought of having to go through this again ... finding another relationship.... give you a headache?
Those are signs of a "habit".
A habit will eventually break. You want to let it remain broken. The odds are highly against a true bonded relationship ever developing from a "habit".
In a true bonded relationship you find that person has become a very part of your being... and that relationship is worth doing all in your power to save ... .for the chances are you will never come across one like it again.
So the question "is my troubled relationship worth saving?" can be answered really only by you.
Maybe now you can answer that for yourself with confidence and if the answer is yes you need to go on and read this. It will guide you to "untroubling " your relationship and making it one you know will last through thick or thin of anything.
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