When a marriage breaks up, it can be extremely difficult to get through to a man who is hurting. They do not wear their hearts on their sleeves for all to see like many women do, and most of them have been brought up to hide any signs of weakness. A man in emotional pain often looks like a man who doesn't care, but never give up because it is possible to break through this cold composure and get your ex husband back.
The best advice for anyone trying to get an ex back is to figure out what the other person wants and determine honestly whether and how you can fulfill those needs. This is very difficult when you want to get your ex husband back and he is not willing (or often is unable) to effectively communicate what he wants. It may seem he doesn't know what he wants, but that is usually just the pain and broken trust talking.
To break through a man that has holed up within his own mind and doesn't want to talk things out is to show him your own emotions first. This will often allow him to loosen up and be a little more vulnerable, since he sees how much the relationship means to you and the pain that you are going through as well.
So how do you do that? The first step is to give him some space, but send signals that you still care. Give him calls or send messages from time to time, but be careful not to smother. Take steps to fix your own issues, even if it involves counseling or other professional help. Let him know you are doing those things to make yourself stronger in the future, to fix the problems that contributed to the downfall of the marriage.
In the end, many men will take their own steps to fix their problems as well. That can open the door for you to get your ex husband back, and form an even stronger relationship than ever before.
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