Moving On - Break Up Advice

Beth knew the time was right to be moving on. The break up with her boyfriend Jeff had just happened and she knew there was no chance of them getting back together, so she simply had to get on with her life.

Initially, Beth tried talking to her friends about the break up and at first, they were very sympathetic, but they soon became bored with the topic and wanted to talk about their own problems and issues, this just made Beth become more frustrated at their lack of support.

Her mum, however, couldn’t talk about anything but Jeff and she thought Beth was insane to let him go. To Beth at times it seemed like her mum had been more in love with Jeff than Beth ever was.

After a few weeks, Beth decided she needed to talk to someone and so booked five sessions with a therapist. Over the course of the next few weeks, she began to identify the problems which had led to the break up and plan out a strategy for moving on.

The first thing she did for the moving on break up was to get rid of all of Jeff’s things that she was still in possession of.  Some, like the leather jacket he loved, she gave back.  Other things like his toothbrush she just threw away.  And, he had given her some nice jewelry, but she decided to box these up and store them until she became less emotional about Jeff.

Next, she started doing things that she didn’t feel comfortable doing when Jeff was around.  For instance, Jeff would never go to the ballet with her.  Beth had trained as a classical dancer and she appreciated Swan Lake and Giselle.  When a performance came to town, she got a couple of girlfriends together and they went - this is not something she would have done if she had been together with Jeff.

She also decided to join an adult dance class. Primarily, it got her out of the house for two nights a week; it also got her back into shape.  But, she was able to meet new people as well and she liked the camaraderie of the class. She also explored new passions. She had never known much about fine wines as Jeff had preferred beer and she had usually just ordered the house white, but when she heard a local winery was offering a wine tasting class, she decided to join.

Over the course of five weeks, she developed a palate and she began to appreciate the difference between a young wine and an old wine. It was here that she met Mark - Mark was a good looking lawyer who was interested in good wine and fine food, he was also interested in Beth.

Part of how Beth knew that she was getting over the pain of losing Jeff was that she was interested in Mark. Beth doesn’t know whether the relationship with Mark is going to be long term or a short term rebound fling.  But she does know that she doesn’t miss Jeff when Mark is around.  And that’s moving on break up advice!