No Contact Rule - Only Half of The Puzzle?
Alright, you've heard it over and over again: the no contact rule. What is it exactly? And how do you apply it to your own breakup situation?
In truth, the no contact approach is a very good start on the path to getting your ex back. It's widely accepted as one of the best ways to make your ex miss and think about you again. But at the same time, no contact can only take you half the distance. If you want to date your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend again, you'll need to go all the way.
How Does The No Contact Approach Work?
In the days and weeks following your breakup, eliminating all contact with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend works wonders. This happens in two very unique ways.
First, you're dropping off your ex's radar very quickly. When he or she broke up with you, they didn't expect this to happen so fast. Your ex was pretty sure you'd put up some resistance: beg for a second chance, offer alternatives to separating, and try to talk them out of the breakup. But instead, you just walked calmly and completely away.
By not contacting your ex girlfriend or boyfriend, they will always imagine the worst. Your ex might think you're over the relationship, or that you've already got someone else in mind. By not communicating with them in any way, your ex will actually start to miss you. With no emails, phone calls, text-messages and the like... your ex will actually feel rejected by you as well.
Additionally, the no contact rule also gives you a great insurance policy. You can't make any of the more common breakup mistakes when you're not even in touch with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Without communication, you can't be stalking your ex. You can't be pushy, needy, or desperate. In fact, you look exactly the opposite of all those things... and this is a fantastic start toward winning your ex back.
However, eliminating all contact after the breakup will only get you halfway to your ultimate goal: getting back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Silence is golden, but it's not going to make your ex suddenly and inexplicibly realize that he or she wants you back.
So what's your next move?
Steps To Take After You've Implemented No Contact
You obviously can't get your ex back until you see each other again. This is the penultimate moment in your breakup, and if it goes correctly it can certainly lead to the two of you getting back together.
When this happens however, you must be someone your ex wants to date again. If you're still the same broken and desperate person you were when they last saw you? You've got little to no chance of fixing your breakup.
During no contact, you should be proactively concentrating on ridding yourself of everything negative in your life. Still mad at your ex for breaking up with you? Let it go. Still going over a thousand reasons why the breakup was your ex's fault? Stop those thoughts. The next time you see your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, he or she will sense any residual negativity, and it will destroy your chances for reconciliation.
Instead, you need to be strong. Exude confidence, and let go of insecurities. Be happy, and most of all be someone charismatic and fun. Do all of these things, and the next time your ex sees you he or she should be instantly attracted to you again - just as they were when you first met them.
You see, the no contact approach gets you 50% of the way there. Your ex misses you, and starts wondering about you again.
This next part however, gets you the rest of the way. Your ex girlfriend or boyfriend should hear stories about you being out with your friends. You should be smiling, laughing, and partying as if the breakup never even effected you. Socially, you should be surrounded by people who are feeding off your charisma and fun. All of these behaviors are attractive. These traits will make your ex suddenly want to be around you again, and this is where they'll start wondering if maybe they didn't make a tremendous mistake by letting you go.
Think there's nothing you can do while waiting around during no contact? Think again! There are tons of effective methods and techniques you can be using to make your ex want you back. Learning them now can help save time, and can increase the odds that you'll successfully get back together again.
Questions and Answers
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