Past Relationship Break Up-The Way Forward

Posted: Nov 16, 2010 |Comments: 0 |

Past relationship break up that linger in the memory can be painful destroying self esteem and one's confidence. The vast majority of people have experienced break ups, but they want to forget and move on. But all too often, the ghosts of past relationships come back to haunt them and end up destroying the new relationships that they're trying to form. This can lead to deep soul searching whereas in reality the cause may lay elsewhere.

The effects of the aftermath of any break ups depend by and large on how serious the relationships were. The more in love you were, the more pain you'll experience as a result. One of the most painful causes of break ups is when one partner is unfaithful. Not only can this cause real pain, but it can shatter your self confidence too.

The memories of the good times you shared can be almost impossible to forget. It can seem that everything you look at sparks of some sort of painful remembrance. When this happens, it can be very damaging. It fills you full of remorse, and it tints everything in your current life and the future as you perceive it. It's terribly difficult to shut out.


What's the Way Forward?

Well my advice is that first you must steel yourself to the fact that there is no easy cure; in fact some people never seem to fully recover. But think about this, think of your existence as a vast pot of feelings. Part of what is in that pot is the remorse you feel for your lost love. But part of what is in the same pot is also a memory of the great times that you shared-the good memories. In another part of the pot is the pain you still feel following the relationship break up of your romance. Having split and compartmentalized these feelings and emotions, you can then think about dealing with each one individually as a tangible element.

The thing you now want to try and do is to let them all leak out of the pot until there is nothing left. Actually allow yourself to re-experience each feeling and emotion again and again. The more you revisit them, the less intense they'll become, until in the end, your pot is devoid of any negative thought. It is like allowing the passage of time to heal your wounds completely. It is not quick, and it is not without pain. However, it is a sure fire way of learning to deal with your pain until it is no more.

It is of course all too tempting to avoid revisiting the past in this way. Why stir up all those old painful emotions? But the fact of the matter is that if you bury them, they'll never, ever go away. They'll always be there, just lurking below the surface, waiting to erupt and devastate you once again. By allowing them to vent their force time and time again, when you're ready and prepared to deal with them, you're keeping control. Remember that it does take time to heal your hurt, restore your confidence and self esteem.

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