Take One Step at a Time to Win Your Ex Back

Posted: Jan 12, 2010 |

Are you recovering from a recent break-up? Sadly, we've all been through it once or twice (or sometimes more). Depending upon how long you were in the relationship, the break-up may especially difficult to overcome. If you would like to know how to win your ex back, here are some steps that may help you.

Step 1 - No Contact

This is probably the most difficult step, but the most essential. You are accustomed to being in constant contact with your ex and difficult as it may be, cutting off ties is best. Whether you want your ex back or not, you must act as if you don't - this benefits you both. From your ex's point of view, you're not being a puppy dog and begging for reconciliation. You're giving your ex space. From your point of view, you're not being a puppy dog and begging for reconciliation and you've got a good shot at regaining the self-esteem you lost being dumped.

Step 2 - Think

Now that you've had some time to yourself, it's good to understand what led to the break-up. Think about the things that your ex found intolerable enough to leave you. This is important whether you are successful at winning your ex back or whether you eventually move on for good and meet another person. You don't want to repeat the same mistakes.

Step 3 - Reconnect with you Friends

You likely ignored your buddies when you were involved with your ex. It's great to reestablish that connection you broke. Go out and have fun, also ask your friends whether the things you were able to identify as the likely culprits that led to your break-up, whether they too have noticed in you. My father used to say, "if one person tells you were acting like a jerk, dismiss it. He was having a bad day. If two people tell you that you were acting like a jerk, consider it could be true either way, but don't act on it yet. If three or more people tell you that you were acting like a jerk, guess what? You were acting like a jerk. If your friends are honest and admit that you can be a jerk at times, than it's likely part of or in whole what drove your ex away. Think about how you can minimize this. Only you know the answer.

Step 4 - Call Your Ex

See whether your ex will meet you and discuss the issues that you think led to the break-up. Chances are, your ex has been doing the same with his or her friends and was wondering too, "How can I win back my ex"?

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