The Problem With The No Contact Rule If You Really Want To Get Him Back

Using the no contact rule seems like a rather simple and easy way to get your ex back, doesn't it? All you have to do is... nothing! And if you believe this garbage about using the no contact rule to get your ex boyfriend or ex husband back then you are going to run into some real problems. If you believe the advice that is given by many experts and your close family and friends that tells you that you basically need to set him free and if he comes back to you it was "meant to be".

Never has there been such a string of lies spewed forth by so called experts and well meaning friends and family. It breaks my heart to think of how many women have followed this advice only to find out several months later after waiting for their phone to ring that their ex had gone off and started another relationship. Where was that phone call that you wanted? Where was that last chance? Where was that opportunity to win him back that you were hoping for?

What He Thinks And Feels - You see, while you were sitting there hoping to make his phone ring by shear will and positive thoughts he was drifting away from you. Every day he was drifting away from you and you can bet that there will come a day when someone else will come into his life. While you were abiding by the no contact rule he was languishing and searching for someone to fill that void that was left in his life when you left. Sure, he asked you to leave or pushed you out of his life but still... he has no way of knowing what you're thinking of feeling and there is a whole string of emotions that a guy goes through after a breakup over some very predictable periods of time.

Wouldn't you rather be the one to fulfill his needs and be the voice on the other end of the phone when he becomes lonely? Wouldn't you rather be the one to meet him for dinner when he doesn't want to eat alone or go out to a movie when he doesn't want to sit in his house alone. If it's not you then it's going to be another woman eventually.

What You're Missing From The No Contact Rule - While the no contact rule should be a part of any plan to get your exboyfriend or exhusband back it should not be the only rule or only piece of the puzzle that will lead him back into your arms again. The no contact rule has its purpose and that is to give both of you some time to collect your thoughts, allow your emotions to settle and also give your ex a little time to just begin to miss you again. The no contact rule is not the only step in getting your ex back. It is only the beginning.

Without a way of making your ex feel something for you again how will he ever have the desire to spend time with you, talk with you or love you again. If there is never any contact again then he will just think that you have moved on or that you are done with him too. After all, he probably wasn't very nice at times when he broke up with you and after the breakup, right? You need a way to open the lines of communication again and at least begin to create that passion that was once between the two of you again if there is ever any hope of getting him back.

Again, the no contact rule is great and it should be your first step in getting your ex back but don't be fooled into thinking that all you can do is nothing if you are serious about getting him back. Without passion, desire and emotion your ex has no reason to think that it will ever work out between the two of you again. He has no reason to think that there was every anything special between the two of you.. something unique and precious that is worth giving it another chance for...