To Get Ex Back Face The Facts

It is true that in all personal and intimate relationships it is highly unlikely that one of the partners is totally faultless. It is more likely that at different times in the relationship both partners will make mistakes. Perhaps something is said that shouldn't be or something is done that shouldn't be. As long as these mistakes are of minor importance and don't happen all that often, most relationships will survive these facts of life.

However, when the mistakes are really serious or happen all too regularly, the relationship can be put at risk leading to a break up. If only people learned to communicate with each other, to be confident enough to share their concerns, look for ways to resolve the issues, a lot more relationships could be saved.

O.K. rant over. What if you have recently broken up and you know it was primarily your fault? What are going to do if you want to get ex back?

Let's face some facts.

However you contributed to the break up you need to take full responsibility for fixing it and for making amends. A simple apology, if meant and said with true feeling, may go some way to healing the rift that you have caused but it is going to take more than that if you wish to get ex back and rebuild your relationship.

This little anecdote may seem like an aside but it is highly relevant so please read on…

A young supervisor was apologizing to a senior executive for the mistakes he had made with his team. The senior executive replied by saying that he accepted the apology. He then added that what separated highly successful executives from those less so wasn't the fact that the successful people made less mistakes. We all make mistakes he said adding the difference is what we do about it after the mistake has been made.

I hope you get the point. You cannot undo the mistakes you made. You cannot turn the clocks back. However, you can take responsibility to make every effort to get ex back and make things right again.

Perhaps these suggestions will help you to make the right decisions and create the right environment for getting back together.

• Before you deal with the mistake, deal with the emotion and how you feel. If you do not feel confident that the mistake can be remedied, if you allow yourself to believe that your ex will never forgive you, you will not be able to make any progress whatsoever. Try and approach the task of getting your ex back with an inner strength and a positive attitude.

• The title suggests that you face the facts. One fact that you will need to face is that you are responsible for the mistakes you made. Fixing those mistakes rests with you. However, you need to fully understand what went wrong, why and when before you stand any chance of remedying the mistakes you made.

• Give yourself the time and space to reflect on what happened. If you can, try and remember what was going on that led to you making the mistake(s). If I give you the benefit of the doubt and accept that the mistake was totally unlike you or your normal behavior and there were extenuating circumstances, simply talking this through with your ex may be all it takes to get your ex back.

• If I take a much harder line and work on the fact that this part of your make-up, you have a much bigger challenge ahead of you. If you acted through jealousy, pettiness, selfishness or just plain stupidity, you will need to convince your ex that you have made a serious effort to change these behaviors. Saying it won't be enough, you will need to prove it and that will take time.

• Last but not least, communicate, communicate, communicate. Listen, be attentive and care more for your ex than you do about your own feelings or desires. Mean what you say especially when apologizing and asking for forgiveness.

• You want to get ex back so prove it first to yourself and then to your ex. Show you are fully committed to making things work and, please, don't make the same mistakes again or there will be a whole new set of facts you'll have to face.