What Are The Emotional Stages Of A Relationship Breakup

The partners in a relationship difficult break up find themselves suffering in the same way.  However, each may find the intensity different depending on if it was they who sought the break up or if they have been left by their partner.

It will be easier for you to go through this period when you are able to recognize the different stages.   You have to realize that each stage must be traversed if one day you will be able to fall in love again.  You would, therefore, be unwise to try to shortcut what is happening as each stage is necessary if you are eventually to make a full recovery.

It is difficult to know how long each step will take, as this depends on you; how secure you are and the help you get.

The following are the five stages in a relationship break up.

The first is the pain which you will feel, and this can come rapidly and it can strike you very hard to the point where you feel you cannot take it.  You have difficulty sleeping and eating; the effort you have to make is too much for you; all you want to do is hide yourself away from everybody.

The next stage is that of the disbelief at what has happened.  You are sure your ex has made a big mistake and in no you will be back together.   You must try to get through this stage as fast as you can because it can often be bad for you to think like this, and the longer it takes the more difficult it will be for you to recover and move on. 

Then comes the feeling of anger; you are shocked that someone could dare to cause you so much suffering after having said that they loved you.  This stage can destroy both of you if you let it; it can compromise you both getting back together again.  You have to avoid becoming too bitter about what has happened; it may make it more difficult for you to have a happy relationship with someone in the future. 

The next stage is the period you go through mourning the passing of the relationship.  You spend a lot of time reflecting on those good times passed and you must be careful to survey your mental health during this period.  Some people are confronted by suicidal thoughts, so if this happens to you, get help immediately.  

At last you arrive at the stage where you realize that the relationship is really finished.  You are now able to start planning for the future.  You are sad that all is over but you are looking forward to your next relationship.

You will get through your break up more easily the more you understand the different emotional stages of a relationship break up that you have to pass through.  You will then know how best to handle them and move on to the future.  Along the way, never forget that things will improve and you have to hang on and see it through. 

Joe Bisley

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