Why Does My Ex Still Call Me?

Posted: Oct 01, 2010 |Comments: 0 | Views: 1,173 |

Does your phone still ring, with your ex calling you even after breaking up?  This is a lot more common than you might think, especially in today's world of text-messages, Facebook, and constant daily contact.  But what does it mean?  Why is your ex still trying to get in touch with you, even though you're no longer dating?

In most cases, post-breakup communication is a definite sign of interest.  Your ex hasn't completely let go of you yet, and he or she is keeping one or two lines of communication open so they can keep tabs on you.  Your ex might not be ready to move on yet, but more importantly they don't want YOU to move on.  Despite their assertions that such phone calls are nothing more than friendly hellos to see how you're doing, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend has a much more hidden agenda.

You need to understand that when two people break up, feelings continue.  Emotional bonds that took months or years to develop aren't severed overnight.  Your ex has the same loving memories of good times and past experiences together that you do, and he or she is not yet willing to let them go.  Even further, your ex is probably scared with the prospect of you moving on before they do.


So yes, your ex broke up with you.  And no, they might not be ready to get back together... at least, not yet anyway.  But for now, your ex is looking to keep tabs on where you are and what you're doing.  He or she will use every means necessary to keep you hanging around, but at the same time they'll use these tools to maintain a healthy distance.  Intermittent phone calls filled with small talk aren't so innocent: they're designed to keep track of who you're with and what you're up to.  Myspace or Facebook contact is also made to see which activities and people you've been occupying your time with.

In essence, any time your ex boyfriend or girlfriend keeps calling you after the breakup, it's because he or she isn't over you yet.  There's no other excuse to stay in touch (especially not the "let's be friends" nonsense), other than because your ex hasn't fully gotten used to the idea of you not being around.  Even though they broke things off, your ex still wants you in their life.  And as long as this is true, there are methods and techniques you can use to easily draw them back in.

Your ex was a huge part of your life, right?  Well so were you a huge part of theirs.  If you were to distance yourself your ex would start missing you very much, which is why he or she keeps reaching out and sending you these mixed signals.  They don't want you back just yet, but they don't want you to go away either.  So the best course of action?  Taking an even bigger step back, so your ex can miss you even more.

If you've been trying to get your boyfriend or girlfriend back, you may have been walking the wrong path.  The closer you keep to this person, the further you are from reconciliation.  Only by creating some distance and space between the two of you can you start making your ex want you back.  Not taking a few of their phone calls and not answering a couple of their text-messages can go a long way toward turning the tables and putting the ball in your court for once.

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