Your Ex Wants To Be Friends - Here's What To Do
So you're happily dating your boyfriend or girlfriend when they suddenly sit you down with that serious look in their eye. And from that very moment forward, your whole life changes:
"I think we'd be better off as friends"
You probably sat there for a moment, shocked and stunned. How could this happen? You still love this person and want them back... being friends with them is the last thing you want right now.
Yet although you protested and tried to get your ex to change his or her mind, in the end the breakup still happened. Ultimately your ex got his or her way, and your romance ended. So rather than be single and completely alone, you clung to that one small rope they threw your way... and for some strange reason, you reluctantly agreed to be friends with your ex.
Understanding Why Your Ex Wants To Be Friends With You
Before going forward, you need to know the true reasons behind why your ex wants to be friends with you. The quicker you can understand this type of breakup mindset, the faster you can start on the correct path to getting your ex to want you back.
Armed with this knowledge, getting back together becomes a whole lot easier. If you're looking to win back your boyfriend or girlfriend, you'll first need to put yourself in their shoes. This not only enables you to see where you really stand with your ex, but it also helps figure out which of their wants and needs were not being met by you during the relationship.
In short, an ex will offer to be friends with you for one big reason: to string you along. This happens because your ex is insecure about being alone, and would much rather go into their new single life knowing where you are (and who you're hanging out with) at all times. Over time, your 'friendship' will dissolve away, especially once your ex starts dating someone else. For this reason, being friends with your ex to somehow help get them back will always end in bitterness and disappointment.
What To Do When your Ex Wants To Be Friends With You
There's only one right move to make when your ex suggests staying friendly after the breakup, and that move is to tell them NO.
Look at it this way: you're still in love with this person. The last thing you want is a 'pretend' friendship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, one in which you're required to watch them be happy without you. The first time your ex goes out on a date with someone else you'll be driven crazy with jealousy. True friends shouldn't feel that way, which is why being friends with an ex is something that will never work out.
By refusing to be friends after breaking up, you're forcing your ex to make a choice. Either they get back together with you again - and still get to see you - or they lose you for good. Make sure your ex knows that if they choose to keep the breakup going, you're not going to be 'around' for them in a friendship type of role.
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