3 Mind Mistakes Coaches/therapists Make and What to Do About Them

Many people, including coaches, don't realise how much they sabotage themselves by the way they think. And if you're thinking right now 'this doesn't apply to me', then that's an example of what I'm talking about! Everyone can benefit from understanding the power their mind has over them, if they're not aware of it. What are you saying to yourself that is damaging your efforts at success?

I've put together 3 common mind mistakes which coaches/therapists do, that mean you're getting in the way of your own success, perhaps without even noticing.

1. Your mindset is programmed for doing OK only. This is the normal mindset for most people, let alone coaches and therapists. In fact, most people don't even realise this is what they've done. So how can you find out if your mind is unconsciously programmed for mediocrity or not?

You have to do the most important thing in all coaching or therapy, and that is listen. But this time, listening to yourself, not your client. Listening to yourself is a whole different skill, and takes time and patience to reap rewards. But those rewards stand you in good stead for the rest of your life in all areas. So it's worth it! 
To develop your 'inner listener', you can do several things:

a) try writing down the contents of your mind for five minutes. No censoring. No planning. Just whatever you hear from inside your head. Then read it. You'll likely be surprised at how all over the place it is. The second part of this exercise is to write down the contents of your mind, but this time direct it to think about something in particular. See if there's any changes. Again, you may be surprised at what you uncover.

b) Practice listening to what is going on inside your own mind when you're supposed to be listening to someone else. We all have this ability. Indeed, in the psychotherapeutic field it is called the Internal Supervisor, and something to be encouraged. What's is happening inside you is often the most important thing that you should be listening to. Either stop the conversation and address it, or focus your attention on the person you're listening to and come back to your inner conversation later.

c) Check out your own core beliefs about success, money, happiness, fulfilment and work. Many coaches/therapists either ignore or don't know enough to address these in their clients, let alone their own beliefs. But it is these very attitudes that interfere with success. For instance, maybe you secretly (or not so secretly) think things like:

I have to work hard to make a lot of money; I wish I had what ... has; there's no way I can do ...; I can't afford it; the reason I'm not more successful is because...; I'll never be rich and successful.

If you identified with any of these, then you're inadvertently sabotaging yourself. You may think it's not that important, but evidence suggests otherwise. There have been plenty of studies that show that we create what we think about. So if you want to have a more successful coaching business, then alongside the marketing, selling and general good business practice, you must address your mindset. As Benjamin Disraeli said: "Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think".

2. Your Money Comfort Level is set at a low point. This is the level at which you have never gone beyond in your income generating capacity. Try this exercise to see where your level is now: Bring to mind the highest amount of income you've ever brought in. It might be what is currently coming in. Now add on another £5K, and imagine you've just looked at your income figures and you see that this is the amount you have created this month. Notice how it feels. Keep on adding £5K amounts (or £2K, £10K or £20K, whatever works for you) until you get to a point where it just doesn't feel realistic any more. That's your level.

If you're miles away from that level, then that's great, you've got some way to go. If it's a level which you're already at, then you need to practice becoming more familiar with the level you do want to actually be receiving. See it in your mind first, feel it in your body, become used to it as normal, and then you'll have created the internal conditions for it to happen. Otherwise the likelihood is that somehow you'll just end up staying at the level you are comfortable with. It's uncanny how this happens, by the way! It's not unusual for suddenly several clients to announce they are will be leaving; or for your bills to rise significantly, or for your car to break down and you need a new one. And suddenly you're back to the level of income you're comfortable with. Just notice the next time unexpected expense occurs to you and find out if it might have anything to do with your MC level.

3. You're being a victim. Well, no one likes admitting they're a victim. But if you find yourself thinking things like 'It's not fair', 'I wish I had their...', or "If only they would... ", then you're being a victim. And victims get stuck in the mud of blame and bitterness really easily. As a coach or therapist, you may very well be able to see when your clients are doing this, especially if you've had lots of practice in listening to what people are really saying. But how well can you do it for yourself? It's much more difficult to see what's going on in your own mind. For a start, it requires being ruthlessly honest with yourself. It means being willing to change direction; to admit that you were wrong, or are wrong; to be open to new ideas; and to change strategy if you're not achieving what you said you wanted to achieve. You won't be able to do any of these if you're being a victim. So examine your attitudes right now and find out in which areas of your life you have a tendency towards being a victim. Become a victor of those areas instead.


So you've now had the opportunity to identify which of these three mind mistakes you might be making. What will you take from these to change the way you do your business?