Are You A Victim of Age Chauvinism?
I recently received an email from an ambitious young woman who was facing age chauvinism in her office. Here is what she said, "Colleagues at the office have determined that I'm much younger than they expected. Due to this, I've been experiencing minor jabs here and there, particularly from one of my VP's who consistently alludes to the fact that I 'wouldn't know XYZ because' I 'wasn't born yet.' I'm not sure if this "Ageism" is common but how does one handle a situation like this?"
Sigh! I remember those days. When I started in the fertilizer business in the early 1980's, it was the original "old boys" club. It was hard being different than the group and there was lots of subtle discrimination, especially because I was young AND a woman. It seemed silly to complain about small slights but they added up.
Catrice Jackson, a corporate coach, says each of these slights is like a paper cut. Individually that small little slit of skin may be annoying - it may sting or burn - but can you imagine the pain of getting 9 or 10 of them a day, everyday, all week? Receiving 70 paper cuts in one week will slice and dice your spirit.
What my protégé was experiencing was chauvinism - the belief that something makes you better than others. There are some who have egos that need constant "pumping up," creating an addictive need to point out their differences and re-inflate their image. Age can be a point of discrimination as the old look down on the young believing their experience makes them superior.
The sad part is that mentoring research shows we can all learn from each other (protégés from mentors and vice versa). Teams benefit from diversity and what is the value of having my protégé at the table if she has no voice? She is facing a hierarchical model that uses "time on the job" as a measure of accomplishment. How about using creative input and good ideas instead?
My best advice to her was:
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Don't make the cut bigger by complaining to the CEO or making a fuss. You can do it much more subtly by pointing out where your age is an advantage (e.g., you understand the latest in the technology market because you participate in it regularly).
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Don't accept his stereotype of you - it will only reinforce his point, making him right. Be sure your behavior contradicts his premise by proving that maturity and wisdom don't necessarily come with age. Speak up confidently and show him that you have ideas worth listening to, even if you weren't born yet.
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Use Humor to say what your gut is asking you not to ignore (e.g., tell him you were wise even in the womb - guys understand banter).
It is no fun being a victim of age chauvinism and there is no shame in being young. Heal the cuts by making your age your advantage, by taking the high road and by having a good laugh. Have you ever experienced this?
Questions and Answers
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