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I just finished working out and I remembered that the agent that works at my complex told me that they were getting a brand new tanning bed. Every "Tan" bunny was so excited and giddy with anticipation. I'm not a big fan of tanning beds, one because all the girls I see using them that are twenty look 40 and I like being 43 and looking 30 something. So obviously I'm as "white as a diaper" and on more than one occasion I could swear that milk was darker than me but self deprecating humor was not the topic of this article. The point I am so skillfully avoiding is that I have this crazy nuance about reading everything in my path. I'm the only guy I know that reads instructions for products where assembly is required and I'm that guy who reads every sign in the museum, or historical trail. for more detials:-www.secure-member-area.com.You can't get me out of The Met in under 6 hours...so don't even try.
In my extreme curiosity to see what all the fuss was about, I noticed a brand new sign that accompanied the Brand New tanning Bed. I tried to avert my eyes but to no avail. In the process of my brain soaking in all the words on the "Rules for Tanning Bed use" you could hear a an extreme sucking sound...it's not a pretty sound. I read every line item in the Rules for Tanning Bed Use. I started feeling authorized to be able to tan. It must have been my imagination but I felt a tan coming over me the more I read...no... still white as a diaper.
There it was, rule number 10: If you are 300 pounds or more it is not recommended that you use this product. for visit detials:-www.starting-membership-site.com.I read it in black and white: If you're fat you can't use this machine. Where is the National Association for the Acceptance of Fat? I'm surprised they're not picking outside the headquarters of the manufacturer and calling all fat people to ban tanning as a national past time.
Airlines get hammered because they want their passengers to feel comfortable without having to push overflowing fat off of their arm rest. Car companies get sued because people are too fat to drive their own cars and they have accidents. Fast food restaurants are to blame for making their food too damn tasty. I still can't understand why fat people aren't starting class action law suits against this manufacturer. I demand congress hold a special session to find the culprits in this mess now that they've put this whole "steroids in baseball" thing to rest.
Maybe I'm over thinking this, maybe I don't realize that fat people don't use tanning beds, maybe, just maybe we'll find out just like congress did that no one really gives a crap, who tans and who doesn't tan and how much that "Tan" Bunny weighs.
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