How to Put a Grinding Halt to Gossip in the Workplace

Gossip can be the kerosene that fuels a destructive firestorm in spreading harmful conversation. It is a chosen behavior that erodes trust and confidence others may have in those that perpetuate this all too common, yet highly destructive deed. The gossip spreader is always under suspicion by those to whom they tell tales because the listeners are wondering what the insensitive gossip monger has to say about them in their absence.

Sad, but true, the queens and kings of gossip can become quite accomplished at selling and telling the rumor mill. But they have to have an audience to be effective. The three most effective ways to put a grinding halt to gossip in the workplace are:

1. Conduct a gossip self check. Explore your own behavior about this nasty habit to see how your gossip tendencies show up. If you know you are inclined to gossip, stop it. If you know you gossip and can't stop it, get help from a counselor. Being a gossip is destructive to your reputation.

2. Make amends. If you've spoken unkindly about others or spread rumors, then take your grown up self to those you've harmed and apologize. Honesty and humility can repair trust issues and both are valuable character builders.

3. Give a gossiper a wakeup call! If you have associates that engage in gossip, ask them to stop. Firmly and politely tell them it is not a character trait you are willing to support anymore. They may not quit gossiping but they will quit including you in the gossip circle.

Gossip Busters!

- Most gossip is based on lies or half truths, and as the story spreads, it becomes even more exaggerated. Even if the gossip is true, it is no one's business.

- The world would be a better place if more people would learn to mind their own business. Not only is it unkind, it is rude to gossip. It can be downright hurtful and destructive.

- Avoid sharing confidences others have placed in you and refrain from spreading your own speculation about others.

- Gossip can't work unless it is repeated, so be sure the story stops with you. Gossip usually dies down quickly when there's no one to listen to it. That's why it is important to break the chain of gossip.

- Don't be an enabler. Listening enables the gossip to have an audience. Even if you don't say anything, silence is always construed as agreement.

- You can state your feelings and let gossipers know you don't gossip and you don't listen to others that do; then walk away.

- Self evaluate your own code of conduct around gossiping. It's a best practice to have a standard that if you wouldn't say it to someone's face, think twice before saying it to anyone else.

- We can all be viewed as guilty by association, so create plenty of distance from gossipers; we are known by the company we keep.

- If you are the victim of gossip, you have a couple of choices. Go directly to the source and tell them you know, don't appreciate it and if they need to say something to you or about you, they need to come direct. Or you can go indirectly and tell the reported source that you have become aware someone is spreading rumors about you and you need their
help.

- Spreading gossip can be a career buster. Behind closed doors when raises and promotions are discussed, so are behaviors that erode morale, test trustworthiness and create uncalled for tension.

Do your part. Make life hard on those that gossip. Turn a deaf ear, and ensure gossipers run into detours as they thoughtlessly or purposefully try to make life hard for their targets and victims. Make the world a better place and put a grinding halt to spreading or listening to gossip.