So the game is over. The banks don't want to play anymore and have taken their ball home. Money has been cheap for so long it almost seemed like companies would start paying you to buy their products (in some cases this actually happened, cash back deals on mobile phone contracts caused so many problems for consumers that the matter was raised in the house of commons)
Everything was available on finance. 'Spend over £99, get 3 months FREE credit'. 0% for 3 years on anything you could sit walk or sleep on for one weekend only, the list was endless. You could barely walk down the street without being offered an unsecured personal loan at 'preferential rates', money supermarket had more hits than a hippie at Woodstock and everyone big or small was welcome. Bad credit? We finance anyone, bring a couple of pay slips and a utility bill and you too can own your own Chelsea tractor. We were all taking 3-4 holidays a year and even if money was tight Mr Visa and Mrs Master Card would see you right a drink.
Then boom. As quick as it came, it went. Woolworth's, and I have to say that one more time because I honestly still cannot believe this actually happened, WOOLWORTH'S! Went bust. The Royal Bank Of Scotland is now owned by the government. The state of the banking system is so dire we actually remember Nick Leeson and Barings as the golden age of finance. Not to mention the NHS is on its knee's, your more likely to get stabbed in school than a GCSE. And don't bother asking a policemen for directions as you will no doubt end up on the DNA database, only for them to leave the memory stick on the tube. Still we must fight the terrorist over there so we don't have to fight them over hear.
So with the country in the gutter, job cuts in every sector and Peter Mandleson back in Westminster (If Noel Edmund's can make a comeback why not?) and the impending doom of a massive worldwide recession, some solace must be found in 'Stuff' magazine once again printing it's annual Essentials guide. This list of 100 must haves is indispensable to city boys and Dundee factory workers alike (We're in their with you lads, don't let the scum bag's grind you down) among some of the items I had never considered essential
No 14: Dualit Vario (From £132) Basically a toaster. For the price of 150 loaves of bread (enough for the average family of 4 for a whole year) This baby will through what can only be described as a scientific miracle, toast bread. You don't need bread if you have this toaster, the color choices alone are filling enough.
No 50: Aiptek Pocket Cinema V10 (£300) A mini pocket projector, that displays images up to 50in across on any flat surface. But wait there's more...oh wait there isn't
And finally No 89: iRobot Scooba (£400) the worlds 1st robotic mop. Because mixing water and electric is cool.
Not that any of this is in of it self a bad thing. There have always been 'uber' electronics and other consumer goods. Motorola once released a phone specifically for owners of the Jaguar XJS. Rolex have been making expensive watches for years and even in the 80's you where a bit of a tool if you owned an Apple Mac. The worrying thing is it doesn't stop with TV's and laptops. No 7 on the list is a chocolate bar. Now chocolate is a product that has many purposes. You can eat it, look at it then eat it, think about eating it... I could go on but one thing chocolate should never be is elitist. Even during WW2 when the stuff was rationed and a girl could lose her knickers just on the sight of it, people never considered it an item that needed overselling. A typical pitch almost always include a mention that the coco is 'fair trade' and sauced from renewable plantations. I'm not knocking the fair trade movement in anyway but it should be a matter of personal preference to buy those products not a transferable badge of cool. The problem with cool is it's hot and cold. Whats cool today will be the subject of a tacky BBC2 show next week (remember 2009?) and principles like fair trade should not be treated like a robotic toaster that fits in your pocket.
The other thing that comes through in publications like Stiff is what I have called the 'Its gotta have' syndrome or the 'I need' complex
No 69: Pioneer KRP-600A (£4500) This 60in TV is top of the line baby. (this is one of two TV in the top 100, the other's a 32in so perfect for the kitchen) a five foot wide TV is exactly what I mean by consumerism gone mad. There is barely enough good TV to fill a matchbox let alone 5 feet. Anyone who would spend £4500 on a TV obviously needs help, but when a magazine is telling us mid-recession that they need one any semi respectable sheep is going to 'need' one.
One of the reasons Britain in 2009 looks like it does is HP (Hire Purchase) and the fact that up until last year or so everyone could get it. We were all living for today safe in the knowledge something would come up. That isn't the case anymore. You don't have to work at Woolies or Zavvi to know that. Everyone is feeling it. That nagging sense of doom. Yet companies are still eager to throw out credit because it is still easy enough to come by. Store cards are still be punted to everyone who can hold a pen long enough to sign up and cars are being reduced like day old pastry at the supermarket.
Yet in some ways its not the same. We love a bargain but when something loses it kudos it ceases to be desirable. Like a summer time romance in September. It loses some of its appeal. When something is cheap or readily available it stop's being special. I love steak but if I ate it everyday I would get bored with it. Steak is a treat. Twice a month something to look forward to. Buying a new car should be the same. You don't do it everyday it's something that you invest yourself in. You take months to choose the color and the spec, and despite what companies think money is not the single biggest factor in making that choice. Part of owning the thing is buying it. The little dance between you and the salesperson that little flutter before you say 'done deal!' its a nice feeling that doesn't need cheapening.
The real problem is you should be allowed to feel the same about much smaller purchases. If I am a valued customer when I spend 10 grand on a people carrier why don't I feel the same when I buy a fifty quid DVD player? Salespeople have got lazy. With all the cheap money about there was no need to ask for the business. You were giving away laptops for Christ sake, you didn't sell them you took orders. When was the last time a salesperson actually said at the end of a sale 'Thanks for your business.' ?
It takes 3 seconds to say but makes the customer feel so special. 'If you have any problems at all, my number is on the top of the receipt, my name is Jim I'm here most of the time if not I will call you back when I am in'
'My name is Jim and I'm your salesman.'
Sales is not scientific. You don't need to be clever to work in sales you need to listen, and know when to talk. Monkey's could sell car's they just hate office work.
If companies want to stay in business they need to treat their 2 biggest assets better. Their staff for one. Even if the future isn't as secure as it used to be, don't use that as an excuse to be bastards. No-one needs to hear how many people want their job. And don't treat job cuts and redundancy as a carpet threat for everyone.
But in many ways a more important criteria for a successful company in post bail out Britain is treating your customers with more respect. Of course we want a bargain but we also want to feel special when we make a purchase. Thank us for our custom, sell us on the benefits of a product not just the features. Just because its cheaper doesn't make it better. If it is fair trade tell me, but tell me why I should care too.
If a company wants to survive in the current economic climate it needs to address the failing's of the old system of business. Some people shouldn't have credit (I know I shouldn't) and over doing the discounts does not make up for closing store's and laying people off. All it does is remind how deep the problems in this country truly run. Its one thing when Gordan Brown is sweating during question time, its another when the shops and businesses we have used our whole lives take to putting people out of work instead of putting in the effort to keep my business.
All businesses should live by a simple code of ethics if they want to survive and prosper.
I the managing director here by promise
Not to make redundancies if a practicable alternative exists, even if this affects profit in the short term.
To treat my staff as I myself would wish to be treated. This includes never using redundancies and layoffs as threat.
To respect my customers and not insult their intelligences or patronize them with 'special offers' that are neither special nor offers.
To remember who I owe my position of power to. My staff and my customers.
This is a simple, ethical and positive ethos. It doesn't take a visionary to see its value. All it takes is the people at the top to listen more to the people at the bottom.
Sorry if this article spiraled off a bit. One last tidbit from Stuff.
84: Nabaztag/Tag (£115) A USB powered rabbit that reads your emails for you and flashes different colors if it happy or sad. OK, that does sound cool, but can it make toast?
Jim Smith
Originally intended for the SWP website.
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